Please pick your favorite caption for this picture of Hillary Clinton and John Rodham Mellencamp!
You and me and pretty much everybody else in the world aren't the only ones who feel beaten down and tired out by this never-ending Democratic primary.
The polling firm Rasmussen Reports has just announced that it's fed the shit up with all this bullfuck, and -- as far as it's concerned -- Barack Obama is the winner and fuck off...
...while Senator Clinton has remained close and competitive in every meaningful measure, she is a close second and the race is over. It has become clear that Barack Obama will be the Democratic nominee...
With this in mind, Rasmussen Reports will soon end our daily tracking of the Democratic race and focus exclusively on the general election competition between Republican John McCain and Democrat Barack Obama. Barring something totally unforeseen, that is the choice American voters will have before them in November.
Something totally unforeseen like... alligators who fly UFOs that are powered by AIDS? If something like that suddenly became an issue in the primary elections for some reason, then, I think, maybe Hillary Clinton could still have a chance.
Kio and Silent Cal, congratulations on completing chapter one: Sarcasm, you two are now ready to take it on the (read more...)
Just on a lark, I did a quick Google search to see if these existed. As it turns out...
Courtesy of HeroBuilders. Endowing septuagenarian public servants with huge plastic pecs since 2008.
er, I mean, Action (read more...)
With the Ron Paul Revolution currently in remission, and the mainstream media conspiring to keep the Texas Congressman's failed presidential campaign out of the headlines, what's an embittered Paulite to do?
Well, you've got a couple of options...
1. You can get behind the winning Republican candidate. (Unlikely.)
2. You can unclench your fists and relax. (Less likely.)
3. You can conduct late-night/early-morning conversations -- very possibly with yourself, using several different names -- about which high school teacher you'd most like to bang in the comments section of old Indecision 2008 posts about Ron Paul. (Been done.)
4. You can move to a faraway place where you never have contact with anybody else but other like-minded Ron Paul fanatics.
If that last one option sounds like the best one for you, then you need to get your ass to Paulville...
The goal of Paulville.org it to establish gated communities containing 100% Ron Paul supporters and or people that live by the ideals of freedom and liberty...
The community would be privately held by the co-op to establish private property for the general community thus preserving the community is 100% freedom and liberty lovers.
Why, that doesn't sound creepy at all! I'll bet that nobody gonna get murdered there. There in that secretive isolationist commune that demands nothing but your undying loyalty to the ideals of a single politician. My oh my, that sounds just like Heaven on Earth.
Extra special good news for you, Dell City, Texas. Because the very first Paulville community is moving in right next door to you!
The first Paulville based community purchace of land has happened! This land is in western texas a short distance from Dell City, Texas. The land is a 50 acre chunk of land, it is flat and level and ready to be developed. We have had a couple members that went to check out the area and took many photos of the area.
Why does rural Texas get all the luck?
Yeah, sounds pretty harmless until Paulville gets high speed (read more...)
Spinquisition: (verb) to moderate a debate poorly by asking only insubstantial tabloid-style gotcha questions.
Usage: We're all used to the major networks screwing up the presidential debates, but nobody expects a C-SPAN-ish spinquisition!
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An incredibly important new scientific report from the New York Times (and then by the Huffington Post) reveals that red-blooded Americans these days prefer politics to sex. I know! OMG!
Sex. Just about everyone likes having it, and even if they prefer not to talk about it, chances are they still think about it. And so, as they say, sex sells.
But move over, love-making, there's a new hot topic in town: the 2008 presidential election.
I've read a lot of articles about the 2008 presidential election. And I've also had a lot of sex. I'm not trying to brag here, but I mean a lot. A lot of long, angry, painful sex. The kind of sex that feels like it will never end and leaves a person desperate about the state of humanity. The kind that makes you realize, with tearful eyes, just how low people can sink.
And I just can't imagine how politics could ever take the place of that.
I am offended by this picture. There ought be two donkeys fucking. I just came on the blog. That's (read more...)
Mr. Obama, if you're listening, Rob Riggle has some actionables you should consider queuing up tout de suite:
Just how much further can the Clinton camp jam a wedge among the party faithful?
You know, it just occurred to me that Hillary's political career is over if she doesn't whole heartedly campaign for (read more...)
According to whoever it is at ABC News with the unenviable job of trying to keep track of which delegates and which superdelegates are with which candidate, Barack Obama has just surpassed Hillary Clinton in one of the only categories in which he was trailing...
Sen. Obama, D-Ill., picked up two superdelegates this morning giving him a new metric to tout in addition to his current commanding leads in pledged delegates, popular votes, states won, and money raised.
Rep. Donald Payne, D-N.J., switched his endorsement from Clinton to Obama and Rep. Peter DeFazio, D-Ore., endorsed Obama. DeFazio was previously uncommitted. With these endorsements, Obama has the support of 267 superdelegates and Clinton has 265 superdelegates.
Be that as it may, Clinton still leads in the all important "intangibles" category.
Hillary announces her break from the DNC and the launch of her own political splinter group... The Pity Party. (read more...)
(The following is a reprint of a McCain campaign internal memo leaked to Indecision 2008 just moments ago).
To: Senator McCain
From: Stephen Hollings, Vice Presidential Search Committee Chair
Re: Your Appearance on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
As you know, your interview with Jon Stewart tomorrow is a once-in-a-campaign-cycle opportunity to connect with young voters, over 40 percent of whom, according to a recent CBS/NY Times poll, continue to confuse press coverage of your campaign with an extremely long funeral retrospective. If there's one thing young people consume these days, it is entertainment. And what better way to get them to take their seats aboard Straight Talk Express (in an orderly, quiet fashion so as not to wake you from your nap, of course) than to announce that your "vice president" will be somebody from the world or popular entertainment? It could even be somebody imaginary! Because, of course, you will be kidding, but then why else would you be on a comedy show?
We had our youngest intern hang out in his son's dorm room and watch a couple hours of television to get on the game. He prepared a short list of potential "candidates." Write these on a big blue index card, so you don't forget.
Tracy Jordan
A character on NBC's popular sitcom 30 Rock, played by Brian Fellows, known for doing wacko things, like exposing his belly. Be careful, though. He's Jeremiah Wright black, not Dr. Huxtable black.
Borat
Nobody, I repeat, nobody is funnier than Borat. He reminds me of a young Yakov Smirnoff.
The Dell Kid
He's young, he's handsome and he has a great handle on technology. If this is your choice, wait 'till Jon asks you the veep question. Then slam your fists on the desk and say, "Dude, you're getting a vice president!" "Dude," by the way, means "fellow" or "cad." I have talked with the rest of the campaign, and everybody is willing to suspend the edict against you slamming your fists on desks for this joke.
Chris Klein
A hot young star who's only getting hotter. He is what we call a double threat -- he was discovered working out in a gym, which means he works out, and he lost his virginity in American Pie, which means he has had sex. Just say, "No homo, I would love to see him with his shirt off." This will drive the young women in the audience crazy. Also, it will prove that you are not a homo.
The Cast of Taxi
If there's anything young people love to do more than work out and have sex, it's laugh. And who better at making the laughs flow than the best ensemble cast in television comedy history. Not to mention, I'm pretty sure Borat is Latka Gravas' son. You'll win more Borat points for mentioning that.
Harmony, If you've seen 2 chicks 1 cup and lived through it, not only would I like to know your (read more...)
Prepare to have your freaking mind totally freaking blown!
Tonight, on the Daily Show, Jon Stewart is talking to David Perlmutter, the author of Blogwars: The New Political Battleground.
And then right after that, Stephen Colbert will be talking to Arianna Huffington, whose website The Huffington Post is on the front line of the Blogwars.
And... you're reading this on...
...a blog.
BOOM!
Colbert was really in space last night. That was fucking sweet. Even without (read more...)
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