For Your Consideration: Campaign Video Awards - Best Acceptance (of Fate) Speech | Indecision2008

February 22nd at 3:42PM

For Your Consideration: Campaign Video Awards - Best Acceptance (of Fate) Speech

POSTED BY: TheInDecider

Any awards ceremony worth its goodie bag takes a moment to pay tribute to those who are no longer with us. With that in mind, we decided to use our In Memoriam section as a way of pouring a virtual 40 out to the candidates who have passed on...out of the race, and accepted their fates.

Don't forget to vote for Best Actor, Best Supporting Actor and Best Song!

Rudy Giuliani
Mayor Rudy Giuliani went out classy by conceding defeat to Ron Paul and promising to spend more time off the campaign trail alienating his family. He is survived by the numbers 9 and 11.

John Edwards
Senator John Edwards made history as the first pro-working so hard, anti-kicking off your Sunday shoes candidate ever to be supported by Kevin Bacon. He went out the way he lived -- standing in front of broken things and talking about poor people.

Fred Thompson
Many of Thompson's closest aides candidly admit that the senator's biggest blunder was dropping out of the race at the precise moment that Matt Balkim, 23, of Naperville, IL became the first person to realize he was in it. Despite withdrawing, Thompson plans to remain relevant. Details of that plan remain sketchy.

Chris Dodd
One of the most promising senators of his generation, Chris Dodd was best known for his portrayal of a troubled, gay ranch hand senator struggling with an unspeakable love while trying to pass FHA loan reform legislation. His untimely withdrawal from the race has left many of his fellow senators mourning the loss of his truly remarkable eyebrows, which will now never be able to reach their sparkling potential.

Mitt Romney
The loss of this great manbot with an even greater set of values and embedded saw blades is a tragedy, but its withdrawal from the race makes America stronger. Take that, terrorists!

Seriously. Watch the tape of what it said. We know the others are boring. But, please, trust us on this one. It reminds us of our nightmares.