April 21st at 12:06PM
Campaigning in the World of Warcraft
Update: Old school gamer and author of this post Tony DiGerolamo responds to all the haters.
There's a lot of talk lately about what Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama have to do to win in Pennsylvania tomorrow. But take the long view and you realize that with each passing election, using the Internet to get votes becomes more and more crucial overall. Candidates today have to speak not only to the casual web surfer, but also to those for whom the Internet is a lifestyle choice. So, here are some tips for the candidates courting the World of Warcraft vote:
 The Vote |
Obama Onscreen name: GuTwReNcHeR |
Clinton Onscreen name: Blood_Storm |
McCain Onscreen name: Deathstalker49 |
| Druid | Likes: His stance on global warming and Humane Goblin Population Control propsal. Dislikes: Wants to see more Elf advisors in campaign |
Likes: Her support for mercury regulations in factory emissions. Dislikes: Her dominant stance disrupts Feral Combat spells. |
Likes: His badger-like commitment to the Iraq War. Dislikes: Refuse to lower taxes on scimitars. |
| Mage | Likes: His intelligence and commitment to education. Dislikes: His support for H.R. 977, the Fireball Limitation Act. |
Likes: That she made that Bosnia sniper story disappear like magic. Dislikes: That she won't support David Blaine's bid for Senate. |
Likes: His wizened old coot-like visage. Dislikes: That he fired Merlin when he was his intern. |
| Paladin | Likes: The way he wants to save everyone in America from evil. Dislikes: That he would treat Trolls and Blood Elves as equals. |
Likes: Her quest for a national health care plan to heal the sick. Dislikes: Lack of funding for holy grail quests. |
Likes: His War Hero persona. Dislikes: That he takes donations from Neocons and other undead. |
| Priests | Likes: That he continues to support his cleric, Rev. Wright. That he doesn't worship a god that would grant him more powerful spells. Dislikes: That he would treat Trolls and Blood Elves as equals. |
Likes: The goddess-like way she runs her campaign, demanding worship from all. Dislikes: That her campaign advisors secretly met with Nath, Ogre god of war. |
Likes: His magic lute that has the ability to charm Orcs. Dislikes: His inability to tell Al Qaeda from other insurgents and his penchant for screaming into his Internet headset during battle. |
| Rogue | Likes: That his tax proposal will take from the rich. Dislikes: That he doesn't keep the taxes for his guild. |
Likes: Her husband's ability to sneak away with interns unseen. Dislikes: Her support for a law allowing Orcs to marry. |
Likes: The way he ruthlessly back-stabbed his GOP opponents. Dislikes: The way he got back-stabbed by Bush in 2000. |
| Death Knight | Likes: His +7 Axe of Reaving. Dislikes: This thing you humans call "humanity". |
Likes: Her sponsorship of H.R.335, which would extend health-care to undead spouses. Dislikes: That she continues to debate her opponents rather than slay them. |
Likes: His lich-like visage and support for global conquest. Dislikes: His refusal to eat the heart of his enemies. |
PERMALINK:
RSS
What about hunters?
The best thing about this is the artwork.
Face the wrath of the nerds!
It’s hilarious to see the no lifers, who all pee in week old coffee cans so they don’t have to leave their computer during a WoW raid, go ape shat over a frigging parody.
These people are the definition of “cat ass”.
I found this to be quite entertaining. Koodos!
Obviously something left over from when the Writer’s stirke was on. “Nuff said.
I hate every one equally, WOW. Why not wear some shoes that don’t smell like your mother. Sorry?
A poor effort at a joke that’s probably been done better at 4chan.
To all you WoW haters out there… it’s not all nerds that play it, go go streotypes. And the reason why you can’t see that this is horribly written is because of your lack of knowledge of the game. If you knew wtf you were talking about you would understand why this Fails on so many levels. It’s not just about the scimitar and the troll paladin… the content of the post is just irrelevant. Just like this article… you WoW haters out there /fail.
Holy Healer Cow. I play WoW, love it, will proabably never stop but, jeez….you WoW players bitching about this make yourselves look even geekier. LMAO!
Its’ a freaking GAME! It’s a freaking JOKE!
Quit embarrassing yourselves and me and Blizzard.
And Dear Comedy Central, enough with the crappy 1980s B movies reruns like ‘Weird Science’. Even your Fighting Robots show was funnier than that out-of-date crap.
You need more smart shows like the Daily Show and Colbert Report. Or at least some comedians.
Not sure what all the WoW players are bleating about, nearly all of the WoW fan created comics are appallingly unfunny and yet apparently the community finds them hilarious which is a mystery to me. Oh and yes I play WoW, a LOT before anyone pipes in. Give the guy a break and rant about something worthwhile or do sopmething useful with your time, like level up.