April 21st at 12:06PM
Campaigning in the World of Warcraft
Update: Old school gamer and author of this post Tony DiGerolamo responds to all the haters.
There's a lot of talk lately about what Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama have to do to win in Pennsylvania tomorrow. But take the long view and you realize that with each passing election, using the Internet to get votes becomes more and more crucial overall. Candidates today have to speak not only to the casual web surfer, but also to those for whom the Internet is a lifestyle choice. So, here are some tips for the candidates courting the World of Warcraft vote:
 The Vote |
Obama Onscreen name: GuTwReNcHeR |
Clinton Onscreen name: Blood_Storm |
McCain Onscreen name: Deathstalker49 |
| Druid | Likes: His stance on global warming and Humane Goblin Population Control propsal. Dislikes: Wants to see more Elf advisors in campaign |
Likes: Her support for mercury regulations in factory emissions. Dislikes: Her dominant stance disrupts Feral Combat spells. |
Likes: His badger-like commitment to the Iraq War. Dislikes: Refuse to lower taxes on scimitars. |
| Mage | Likes: His intelligence and commitment to education. Dislikes: His support for H.R. 977, the Fireball Limitation Act. |
Likes: That she made that Bosnia sniper story disappear like magic. Dislikes: That she won't support David Blaine's bid for Senate. |
Likes: His wizened old coot-like visage. Dislikes: That he fired Merlin when he was his intern. |
| Paladin | Likes: The way he wants to save everyone in America from evil. Dislikes: That he would treat Trolls and Blood Elves as equals. |
Likes: Her quest for a national health care plan to heal the sick. Dislikes: Lack of funding for holy grail quests. |
Likes: His War Hero persona. Dislikes: That he takes donations from Neocons and other undead. |
| Priests | Likes: That he continues to support his cleric, Rev. Wright. That he doesn't worship a god that would grant him more powerful spells. Dislikes: That he would treat Trolls and Blood Elves as equals. |
Likes: The goddess-like way she runs her campaign, demanding worship from all. Dislikes: That her campaign advisors secretly met with Nath, Ogre god of war. |
Likes: His magic lute that has the ability to charm Orcs. Dislikes: His inability to tell Al Qaeda from other insurgents and his penchant for screaming into his Internet headset during battle. |
| Rogue | Likes: That his tax proposal will take from the rich. Dislikes: That he doesn't keep the taxes for his guild. |
Likes: Her husband's ability to sneak away with interns unseen. Dislikes: Her support for a law allowing Orcs to marry. |
Likes: The way he ruthlessly back-stabbed his GOP opponents. Dislikes: The way he got back-stabbed by Bush in 2000. |
| Death Knight | Likes: His +7 Axe of Reaving. Dislikes: This thing you humans call "humanity". |
Likes: Her sponsorship of H.R.335, which would extend health-care to undead spouses. Dislikes: That she continues to debate her opponents rather than slay them. |
Likes: His lich-like visage and support for global conquest. Dislikes: His refusal to eat the heart of his enemies. |
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ZOMG!! blizz and comedy central are partners... so much ghey alliance love(suprised they all arernt gnome locks..) lets hear how these 3 feel about the oh so weak starting points for AV now.. but srsly,, you should interview teh guildees of these 3.. heard stalker was an uber-lootwhore,, gutwrencher is sporting the welfare& badge epics(zomg!!1011 like 1 prince kill max),, and bloodstorm wont shut up about the glorydays of MC,, srsly,,less qq moar pewpew...Murlocs 08'..... wtfbbqlol
Stupid article, stupid topic.
It could have been interesting if the writer was a WoW player, but sadly, its obvious they are not, as this drivel makes so little sense.
I'm with Dahkeus... "If I wasn’t looking at this from a player perspective, most still wouldn’t make sense, nor would it be interesting."
I play LOTRO, and this article seemed asinine even to me.
I thought the article was funny, but i dont know why all the WoW players would be THAT mad about it. I play WoW and i did'nt get mad about it at all. All you other people that play should not get angry about this.
The photo is pretty funny, but the article itself couldn't have been further from comedy if it wasn't because it had been posted here.
I actually enjoy all the anti-wow QQers in this post. Really, the article is horribly bad, but you complaints and attempts to insult anyone who actually knows it is horribly bad only makes you look like a fool.
I just thought I would throw that out there.
Thanks!
Ok... seriously, OH NO! HE SAID THERE WAS A TROLL PALDIN! BUT... THERE IS NO SUCH THING! THE WORLD WILL COLLAPSE! LET ALONE THE WORLD OF F***ING WARCRAFT! But lo, there is more - a +7 Axe of Reaving? That doesn't exist therefore this article cannot be funny.
Seriously guys.... are you all like autistic? It doesn't need to be taken so seriously. I'm gonna go nerd hunting and stake some of you mothers.
Haha! Great article. But seriously, WoW fans, do you actually WANT to be even more socially excluded than you already quite possibly are? I mean, lighten up! It's a f***ing joke man. It isn't supposed to be taken seriously you retards. If you don't have something positive to say about the article, don't say it, or at least make a valid point.
WoW geeks, lighten up, eh? The only thing that's an epic fail here is your own sense of humor.
Don't you realize how much like the Simpsons comic book store guy you're making yourselves look like? Yes, there are no scimitars for druids in WoW, who the hell cares? Just be glad that someone's acknowledging our hobby as a valid part of pop culture without nitpicking the details.
Funny article, although it's funnier watching all you Warcrack addicts have an aneurysm over details. GG, indeed.