April 21st at 12:06PM
Campaigning in the World of Warcraft
Update: Old school gamer and author of this post Tony DiGerolamo responds to all the haters.
There's a lot of talk lately about what Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama have to do to win in Pennsylvania tomorrow. But take the long view and you realize that with each passing election, using the Internet to get votes becomes more and more crucial overall. Candidates today have to speak not only to the casual web surfer, but also to those for whom the Internet is a lifestyle choice. So, here are some tips for the candidates courting the World of Warcraft vote:
 The Vote |
Obama Onscreen name: GuTwReNcHeR |
Clinton Onscreen name: Blood_Storm |
McCain Onscreen name: Deathstalker49 |
| Druid | Likes: His stance on global warming and Humane Goblin Population Control propsal. Dislikes: Wants to see more Elf advisors in campaign |
Likes: Her support for mercury regulations in factory emissions. Dislikes: Her dominant stance disrupts Feral Combat spells. |
Likes: His badger-like commitment to the Iraq War. Dislikes: Refuse to lower taxes on scimitars. |
| Mage | Likes: His intelligence and commitment to education. Dislikes: His support for H.R. 977, the Fireball Limitation Act. |
Likes: That she made that Bosnia sniper story disappear like magic. Dislikes: That she won't support David Blaine's bid for Senate. |
Likes: His wizened old coot-like visage. Dislikes: That he fired Merlin when he was his intern. |
| Paladin | Likes: The way he wants to save everyone in America from evil. Dislikes: That he would treat Trolls and Blood Elves as equals. |
Likes: Her quest for a national health care plan to heal the sick. Dislikes: Lack of funding for holy grail quests. |
Likes: His War Hero persona. Dislikes: That he takes donations from Neocons and other undead. |
| Priests | Likes: That he continues to support his cleric, Rev. Wright. That he doesn't worship a god that would grant him more powerful spells. Dislikes: That he would treat Trolls and Blood Elves as equals. |
Likes: The goddess-like way she runs her campaign, demanding worship from all. Dislikes: That her campaign advisors secretly met with Nath, Ogre god of war. |
Likes: His magic lute that has the ability to charm Orcs. Dislikes: His inability to tell Al Qaeda from other insurgents and his penchant for screaming into his Internet headset during battle. |
| Rogue | Likes: That his tax proposal will take from the rich. Dislikes: That he doesn't keep the taxes for his guild. |
Likes: Her husband's ability to sneak away with interns unseen. Dislikes: Her support for a law allowing Orcs to marry. |
Likes: The way he ruthlessly back-stabbed his GOP opponents. Dislikes: The way he got back-stabbed by Bush in 2000. |
| Death Knight | Likes: His +7 Axe of Reaving. Dislikes: This thing you humans call "humanity". |
Likes: Her sponsorship of H.R.335, which would extend health-care to undead spouses. Dislikes: That she continues to debate her opponents rather than slay them. |
Likes: His lich-like visage and support for global conquest. Dislikes: His refusal to eat the heart of his enemies. |
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As I said in his response:
This was an attempt to get a larger audience using World of Warcraft. Unfortunately the author fails to know ANYTHING about WoW except the barest basics and falls back on D&D as if it would work. It was insulting to the people that did read it looking for WoW jokes.
If he had made it about D&D, it might have worked. But then not as many people would have come to the site.
Like it or not, the author knows D&D is not as popular as WoW. So instead of writing about something he does know, he does a half-assed job and expects no one to notice, or goes into nerd rage mode defending his lack of good judgement. Write about what you know.
I think we're just sensitized from too many years of hearing people drone on and on about games, the internet, or some other new form of media while not knowing the first thing about what they were talking about. When someone posts something about WoW and the name has an underscore or numbers in it, we tend to cock our heads a bit.
The author's response is right on the mark (yes, even the computer game bashing part). Remember the point here; this is not an ignorant attempt to do something harmful to the media form. This is humor. And it's funny.
The writer actually needs to play World of Warcraft to level 70 in order to understand how stupid this is.
None of these points actually make sense (Seriously... What relation is there between Druids and Scimitars? Druids can only wear staves/maces!).
And your "old school" rebuttal guy comes in talking about DnD... WTF!?
If you're going to post about World of Warcraft, defend it with World of Warcraft... not DnD! That's like defending an argument about Sword vs Mace with cake.
This Tony guy sure likes to win arguments with fallacies.
you furious nerds are the reason all WoW players get a bad rep
i mean honestly, theres an outcry against the omission of warlocks?
people are blowing steam out their ears because the 3 candidates arent horde?
you're giving yourselves ulcers over the fact that druids cant actually use scimitars and there isnt a +7 axe of reaving?
if anything, the exaggeration that is clearly present in this article makes it obvious that he isnt making fun of us, rather than hopping on the bandwagon of WoW haters
im glad that most WoW players are as stupid as they seem in-game, however it makes me feel like a bad person knowing that i'm killing the avatars of people that could qualify as mentally retarded, and have the sense of humor of a KGB spy
Almost as funny as Barrens chat...
Epic fail on all below that gets so worked up. Do some research between 'fun and fact'. I played wow for years, On and Off. You should try the 'off' part as well.
I find this amusing, i dont understand why you all freak out. You lost your humor to Illidan, your all his bitch, go go BT! .. retake your sense of humor!
Ah, I get it all of the Warlocks support Ron Paul and since main stream media is intent on omitting any and everything Ron Paul the Warlocks are ommited as well.
Ron Paul 2008
~Tranzar 70 lock Alleria
I've been playing Warcraft for 3 years. And this article was funny. I mean, who of you doesn't get Paladins dislike of McCAin: "That he takes donations from Neocons and other undead." Druids dislike of Hillary: "Her dominant stance disrupts Feral Combat spells." Or Rogues dislike of Obama: "That he doesn't keep the taxes for his guild."
I mean, why would the 6-13 year-olds even read these forums?
And, to all the WoW-haters: if you hate on people because they like to play a game, I happen to sell lives.. do you want one?
So... the Warlock vote doesn't count?
Geeks sure know how to paint themselves even more geekier...complaining about the lack of authenticity of their odd closet "hobby." Grow a pair, guys! It's a damn lampoon!