April 21st at 12:06PM
Campaigning in the World of Warcraft
Update: Old school gamer and author of this post Tony DiGerolamo responds to all the haters.
There's a lot of talk lately about what Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama have to do to win in Pennsylvania tomorrow. But take the long view and you realize that with each passing election, using the Internet to get votes becomes more and more crucial overall. Candidates today have to speak not only to the casual web surfer, but also to those for whom the Internet is a lifestyle choice. So, here are some tips for the candidates courting the World of Warcraft vote:
 The Vote |
Obama Onscreen name: GuTwReNcHeR |
Clinton Onscreen name: Blood_Storm |
McCain Onscreen name: Deathstalker49 |
| Druid | Likes: His stance on global warming and Humane Goblin Population Control propsal. Dislikes: Wants to see more Elf advisors in campaign |
Likes: Her support for mercury regulations in factory emissions. Dislikes: Her dominant stance disrupts Feral Combat spells. |
Likes: His badger-like commitment to the Iraq War. Dislikes: Refuse to lower taxes on scimitars. |
| Mage | Likes: His intelligence and commitment to education. Dislikes: His support for H.R. 977, the Fireball Limitation Act. |
Likes: That she made that Bosnia sniper story disappear like magic. Dislikes: That she won't support David Blaine's bid for Senate. |
Likes: His wizened old coot-like visage. Dislikes: That he fired Merlin when he was his intern. |
| Paladin | Likes: The way he wants to save everyone in America from evil. Dislikes: That he would treat Trolls and Blood Elves as equals. |
Likes: Her quest for a national health care plan to heal the sick. Dislikes: Lack of funding for holy grail quests. |
Likes: His War Hero persona. Dislikes: That he takes donations from Neocons and other undead. |
| Priests | Likes: That he continues to support his cleric, Rev. Wright. That he doesn't worship a god that would grant him more powerful spells. Dislikes: That he would treat Trolls and Blood Elves as equals. |
Likes: The goddess-like way she runs her campaign, demanding worship from all. Dislikes: That her campaign advisors secretly met with Nath, Ogre god of war. |
Likes: His magic lute that has the ability to charm Orcs. Dislikes: His inability to tell Al Qaeda from other insurgents and his penchant for screaming into his Internet headset during battle. |
| Rogue | Likes: That his tax proposal will take from the rich. Dislikes: That he doesn't keep the taxes for his guild. |
Likes: Her husband's ability to sneak away with interns unseen. Dislikes: Her support for a law allowing Orcs to marry. |
Likes: The way he ruthlessly back-stabbed his GOP opponents. Dislikes: The way he got back-stabbed by Bush in 2000. |
| Death Knight | Likes: His +7 Axe of Reaving. Dislikes: This thing you humans call "humanity". |
Likes: Her sponsorship of H.R.335, which would extend health-care to undead spouses. Dislikes: That she continues to debate her opponents rather than slay them. |
Likes: His lich-like visage and support for global conquest. Dislikes: His refusal to eat the heart of his enemies. |
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I hate every one equally, WOW. Why not wear some shoes that don't smell like your mother. Sorry?
A poor effort at a joke that's probably been done better at 4chan.
To all you WoW haters out there... it's not all nerds that play it, go go streotypes. And the reason why you can't see that this is horribly written is because of your lack of knowledge of the game. If you knew wtf you were talking about you would understand why this Fails on so many levels. It's not just about the scimitar and the troll paladin... the content of the post is just irrelevant. Just like this article... you WoW haters out there /fail.
Holy Healer Cow. I play WoW, love it, will proabably never stop but, jeez....you WoW players bitching about this make yourselves look even geekier. LMAO!
Its' a freaking GAME! It's a freaking JOKE!
Quit embarrassing yourselves and me and Blizzard.
And Dear Comedy Central, enough with the crappy 1980s B movies reruns like 'Weird Science'. Even your Fighting Robots show was funnier than that out-of-date crap.
You need more smart shows like the Daily Show and Colbert Report. Or at least some comedians.
Not sure what all the WoW players are bleating about, nearly all of the WoW fan created comics are appallingly unfunny and yet apparently the community finds them hilarious which is a mystery to me. Oh and yes I play WoW, a LOT before anyone pipes in. Give the guy a break and rant about something worthwhile or do sopmething useful with your time, like level up.
Old fart, you're not funny. I'm sure you're appreciating the hits your blog is getting based on all the angry WoW players you've managed to aggravate (and posting links on their Guild forums + WoW forums... maybe you should read those sometime), but you're really not funny, knowledgeable, or capable of striking two words together if they were painted on flint.
Own up to it. You're dumb as a box of rocks, and only good at pissing people off. People who actually are funny, and knowledgeable in multiple games, including D&D. Hope you enjoy your nursing home days, getting your ass wiped by some big dude who changes your diapers, and mocks you as you roll your dice to figure out who gets your mashed potatos at din din.
this isn't even good enough for barrens chat
Writer of this thread... please... quit your job and go back to playing D&D.
Your thread is a failure... no one found it funny and it's just ruining people's respect for comedy central.
The WOW players have spoken... they have voted... and they voted to /gkick you out because of your shit idea of what humor is.
I wonder - was this article favor for candidates? Did this attempt to appleal to WOW players and improve our perception of any of these politicians, or, maybe, just demoted them in our opinion?
If u played game, you would knew that NEs are mostly noobs, Dwarved are chronic drinks, and gnomes... well, nothing sweeter than the sound of a dying gnome :) If U wanna appeal to hearts of us nurds, know: we, nerds like accurate statements. And u wanted appeal to us, right, otherwise the article is pointless...
I dont think ppl here are mad about ignorance of the author, I think we are sorta appauled by his claims of knowledge. Playing the DnD, tetris, poker, or whatever other prehistoric games does not make this attempt to look cool and accepted by the young kids convincing. It totally reminds me of a grandma who thinks she is cool and hip, and trying to teach hip to her grandkids... lols big time
Meh. A poor attempt. I expected more, the writers here are usually so much more witty.