Old School Gamer Responds to "Campaigning in the World of Warcraft" Blog Comments
We stirred up a shitstorm with our recent article "Campaigning in the World of Warcraft." Here to respond to your comments, the writer of the piece, Tony DiGerolamo, an old school gamer:
WoW fans, Indecision readers and concerned nerds,
Recently, my post regarding WoW and politics hit a nerve. Some of you have laughed, no doubt causing Mountain Dew or energy drink to shoot out of your nose. Some of you have pointed out that WoW druids have no scimitars or that Shamans were omitted from coverage or that there is no such thing as a +7 Axe of Reaving. We are very sorry for any inconvenience or stress that may have caused you but...
...you are all wrong.
Yes, there are 3.5 million or 10 million (get your numbers right, people) players of WoW online, but do you people even know what you're playing? It's called D to the fuckin' & to the D, motherfuckers! Dungeons and Goddamned Dragons!
You craven little blog monkeys think you know fantasy or comedy? Here's a little sample from the WoW Insider...
Well, let's have WoWInsider tackle the case -- I'd love to see this written up right, could be hilarious.
[Random Demo Candidate]: "Epic Mounts are to unattainable for the average Azerothian - my plan addresses this with a faction rebate!"
[McCain]: "Clearly, the war between Horde and Alliance must continue, we have to stay the course! Even if it takes 100 patches"
etc etc - You know you want to!
Ah, hahaha! Oh, my sides! How could anyone not find THAT funny? I'm sure you're busy omg'ing everyone right now. Sign that guy up to write for Root of All Evil because Lewis Black needs to punch up his monologue with online software references. They always kill.
You WoW whiners are nothing but a bunch of Lancelot-come-latelies. Dungeons & Dragons has easily 20 million players. In 1979, while you console pussies were squinting at 8-bit Atari porn (NSFW), the rest of us were in our parents' basements kicking Orc ass and counting how many Devil references and boob illustrations there were in the Monster Manual!
I mention druids and priests but not shamans? They're the same fuckin' thing! I know that because I read it in a book and that led me to read other books. Books like the Players' Handbook for Advanced D&D and books like this one and other science-fiction or fantasy that expanded my vocabulary and taught me about things. The only thing computer games taught me was how to get carpal tunnel syndrome while balancing a bowl of Doritos between my legs. For Dungeons & Dragons players, the only limits were their imaginations. For WoW players the only limits are the imagination of the IT guy who designed their character.
You want a WoW player to write your comedy? Son, I got maps on graph paper funnier than WoW players. Point and click that into your soul shard bag, Leroy Jenkins.
You're playing Dungeons & Dragons online, ya dink! I'm sorry the rest of us didn't need blinking graphics and shiny things to immerse ourselves in fantasy. Using a state-of-the-art flat screen and keyboard doesn't exactly get me in the mood to talk like I'm in medieval times. Oh, sorry, TYPE like I'm in medieval times. Oh, wait, I'm sorry, use a fucking HEADSET like I'm in medieval times.
So the next time you "slay" a dragon with your online "friends" that you paid $15 a month for, remember I'll be in some dude's parents' basement for free with graph paper, dice and a bottle of Wild Turkey. And we will have a sweet, sweet custom-made, drunken D&D adventure with real people and you can kiss the hairiest part of Gary Gygax's decomposing balls!
Update: A response from the world of The World of Warcraft by Mike Schramm
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don't get me started on the truely cringeworthy attemts at humor on their podcast
Good thing that NERDRAGE still hasn't changed since 1979 apparently. Too bad you apparently only rolled a 3 for your humor attributes.
"equal to the dude in college still going to high school parties… at age 25."
Yes, WoW and D&D are much like a college parties vs. high school parties, aside from the drinking, debauchery, and drugs and anything else that makes those parties fun.
Tony... You got owned!
If D& D has 20 million players why not do it from a D&D perspective at least then you would know your audience and effectively you would reach more people. Also there is a D&D on-line yes and its not WOW. WOW is actually distinctly different but if you play your game, then D&D was just roleplayed Lord of the Rings and that being said you could really lump them all together as the fleshing out of Miedeval, Norse and other ancient mythologies. So all we are trying to say is if you don't play WOW don't try to write from the perspective of someone who plays WOW. You act like since I played a game from a similar culture then I can write about anything loosely related to it and expect that culture to be in awe of it. Lets face it as a WOW inspired piece it really sucked. Change it to what you know (D&D) and you could have a winner. FYI most of us will get your references too. Just because we use a computer now doesn't mean it was always that way. Some of us moved with technology. Also Wild Turkey isn't just for pen and paper. If you want some real fun sign up for WOW and try raiding shit-faced. :P
If you played and/or love D&D so much, then maybe you should have written the original article about D&D. I'm not entirely sure where you were trying to place your target audience- if it was aimed towards WoW players, then epic fail at making inaccuracies at your target audience! And if it was towards indecision fans, twice epic fail for bringing up a game very many people don't even know about.
Of course, you were prolly aiming towards both, which is even more fail. GG for not knowing your audience.
Less QQ and more pew pew!
Nerd RAGE!!!
The commenter about the bubble-hearth was the funnier than either of the post!! But Everyone has the same point. D&D =/= WOW. Close but not same... /agree with the WOW name dropping just to make it all that more popular... Anyway, love the rest of the blog, just stick with what you know and don't be a little bitch when you get schooled.
Love it when people take this stuff too seriously. Its like arguing about whether the Firebird is better than the Camaro. Same Car, different wrapper. Get over it.
i ROLFCOPTERS at your entry...NOT (pretty much on par with your lame humor attempt) the problem is- to us wow people you bringing up D & D is equal to the dude in college still going to high school parties... at age 25.