Old School Gamer Responds to "Campaigning in the World of Warcraft" Blog Comments
We stirred up a shitstorm with our recent article "Campaigning in the World of Warcraft." Here to respond to your comments, the writer of the piece, Tony DiGerolamo, an old school gamer:
WoW fans, Indecision readers and concerned nerds,
Recently, my post regarding WoW and politics hit a nerve. Some of you have laughed, no doubt causing Mountain Dew or energy drink to shoot out of your nose. Some of you have pointed out that WoW druids have no scimitars or that Shamans were omitted from coverage or that there is no such thing as a +7 Axe of Reaving. We are very sorry for any inconvenience or stress that may have caused you but...
...you are all wrong.
Yes, there are 3.5 million or 10 million (get your numbers right, people) players of WoW online, but do you people even know what you're playing? It's called D to the fuckin' & to the D, motherfuckers! Dungeons and Goddamned Dragons!
You craven little blog monkeys think you know fantasy or comedy? Here's a little sample from the WoW Insider...
Well, let's have WoWInsider tackle the case -- I'd love to see this written up right, could be hilarious.
[Random Demo Candidate]: "Epic Mounts are to unattainable for the average Azerothian - my plan addresses this with a faction rebate!"
[McCain]: "Clearly, the war between Horde and Alliance must continue, we have to stay the course! Even if it takes 100 patches"
etc etc - You know you want to!
Ah, hahaha! Oh, my sides! How could anyone not find THAT funny? I'm sure you're busy omg'ing everyone right now. Sign that guy up to write for Root of All Evil because Lewis Black needs to punch up his monologue with online software references. They always kill.
You WoW whiners are nothing but a bunch of Lancelot-come-latelies. Dungeons & Dragons has easily 20 million players. In 1979, while you console pussies were squinting at 8-bit Atari porn (NSFW), the rest of us were in our parents' basements kicking Orc ass and counting how many Devil references and boob illustrations there were in the Monster Manual!
I mention druids and priests but not shamans? They're the same fuckin' thing! I know that because I read it in a book and that led me to read other books. Books like the Players' Handbook for Advanced D&D and books like this one and other science-fiction or fantasy that expanded my vocabulary and taught me about things. The only thing computer games taught me was how to get carpal tunnel syndrome while balancing a bowl of Doritos between my legs. For Dungeons & Dragons players, the only limits were their imaginations. For WoW players the only limits are the imagination of the IT guy who designed their character.
You want a WoW player to write your comedy? Son, I got maps on graph paper funnier than WoW players. Point and click that into your soul shard bag, Leroy Jenkins.
You're playing Dungeons & Dragons online, ya dink! I'm sorry the rest of us didn't need blinking graphics and shiny things to immerse ourselves in fantasy. Using a state-of-the-art flat screen and keyboard doesn't exactly get me in the mood to talk like I'm in medieval times. Oh, sorry, TYPE like I'm in medieval times. Oh, wait, I'm sorry, use a fucking HEADSET like I'm in medieval times.
So the next time you "slay" a dragon with your online "friends" that you paid $15 a month for, remember I'll be in some dude's parents' basement for free with graph paper, dice and a bottle of Wild Turkey. And we will have a sweet, sweet custom-made, drunken D&D adventure with real people and you can kiss the hairiest part of Gary Gygax's decomposing balls!
Update: A response from the world of The World of Warcraft by Mike Schramm
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Your response is to call all ten million of us “motherfuckers?” Tony, I hate to point out the obvious, but where is your apology?
You are an experienced writer, actor, and avid D&D fan. You’ve proven your humor countless times. Yet you have failed to explain, let alone apologize, for trying to pass off your D&D knowledge as a comedy piece about WoW.
We didn’t sneak into your basement and steal your graph paper and player’s handbook. We certainly didn’t start writing articles explaining how WoW lore or its players are better than D&D. So why do you insist on pissing all over us? Please don’t try and explain to us how your favorite flavor of geek is better than ours.
Your love of table top gaming is to be commended. We have just as much respect for Gary Gygax as you. If you would just take your blinders off and spend an hour with the WoW community you could begin to understand the mistake you have made. However, your words and actions have convinced us all of the arrogance of your ignorance.
Your ignorance of both the game of World of Warcraft, and those who play it is clear and obvious. Your attitude and response push your elitism, anger and jealously right to the front of the stage, for the entire world to see.
haha, 2 words
Epic Fail
Played D&D, played other roleplaying games, 22 year pedigee in it including running innovative (and award winning) versions or plays on existing systems. Participated in running a convention with international recognition and on, and on, and on...
Now we've established that my RPG 'pair' are as big as the author's I'll say that I current play WoW. It suits my lifestyle at this point, I use it to keep in contact with old RPG friends who, sadly, no long live near me and I've gained quite a few new friends over the years. WoW is a descendant of D&D, but it has also borrowed from a dozen other sources (as D&D did for it's worlds) and it has had a healthy dose of original thought directed towards it as well. As the author's discovered (at least I hope he has) the two aren't so closely tied that a person can expect to reference one accurately based on a knowledge of the other. I would suggest that he simply acknowledge the original article displayed little know of WoW and move on - after all, given his disdain for the game it's hardly a huge admission to say he doesn't know it well?
Who gives a flying fuck about D&D? Seriously, get over it you old fuck. Sorry you didn't have a console back in the day... sorry you didn't have HDTV. But I could give a flying fuck about your circle jerks in your parents basements with your boyfriends. And I really could care less about how you walked 10 miles uphill in the snow both ways.
Your old. The games you play are OLD. Yes, yes they inspired the new games... blah blah. No one cares. The NBA 30-40 years ago IS NOT the NBA today. No one wants to see lay ups when they can see dunks. No one wants to roll dice when they can see everything virtually.
You made a strip trying to cater to WOW players who you thought would back you up because you played D&D. They didn't because no one cares about D&D.
So let me sum it up for you:
1. Your old.
2. No one gives a fuck about D&D anymore.
3. Your not funny.
4. Your thread was shit and you got called on it.
5. Your a whiny bitch for making a "comeback" thread to a thread you originally fucked up on.
6. Don't make threads trying to cater to people WHO DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT D&D.
7. D&D is shit.
8. Your old.
Lol this post is the most epic barerns chat/trade channel spam i have ever read ever, you guys have it all wrong. This post in and of it self is the most cuting wow satire ever consivied. .......oh wait no he is just a douche.
What I think you fail to realize... If you are creating an article that is based around a particular subject, you have to cater to that group's tastes in humor. The vast majority of mainstream america isn't going to read the article. You are specifically catering to WoW (or other knowledgeable) gamers, and therefore, should actually pay attention to the subject you are writing about.
Umm, ever see Borat? fucking schmucks.
http://sgtpepperpolitics.blogspot.com/
Wow. That was some language. I guess if you feel the need to prove your point you need to call those who said you sucked "Pussies and motherfuckers"
Quite the writer.
I admit that I laughed. I also admit that I play World of Warcraft on a regular basis.
The wonderful thing about The Daily Show, The Colbert Rapport, and Comedy Central in general: They'll gleefully misrepresent -anything- so long as it makes a good punchline. This isn't a bad thing, mind. It's just over the top.
If you can laugh when they poke fun at others, why can't you laugh when they poke fun at you?
who creates an article designed to attract a base of wow playing blog readers and then retaliates against the same group for calling him out for being a fucking idiot?
a fucking idiot that's who!! (i gave a hint.. did you see that?) diaf loser kthxbai