Old School Gamer Responds to "Campaigning in the World of Warcraft" Blog Comments
We stirred up a shitstorm with our recent article "Campaigning in the World of Warcraft." Here to respond to your comments, the writer of the piece, Tony DiGerolamo, an old school gamer:
WoW fans, Indecision readers and concerned nerds,
Recently, my post regarding WoW and politics hit a nerve. Some of you have laughed, no doubt causing Mountain Dew or energy drink to shoot out of your nose. Some of you have pointed out that WoW druids have no scimitars or that Shamans were omitted from coverage or that there is no such thing as a +7 Axe of Reaving. We are very sorry for any inconvenience or stress that may have caused you but...
...you are all wrong.
Yes, there are 3.5 million or 10 million (get your numbers right, people) players of WoW online, but do you people even know what you're playing? It's called D to the fuckin' & to the D, motherfuckers! Dungeons and Goddamned Dragons!
You craven little blog monkeys think you know fantasy or comedy? Here's a little sample from the WoW Insider...
Well, let's have WoWInsider tackle the case -- I'd love to see this written up right, could be hilarious.
[Random Demo Candidate]: "Epic Mounts are to unattainable for the average Azerothian - my plan addresses this with a faction rebate!"
[McCain]: "Clearly, the war between Horde and Alliance must continue, we have to stay the course! Even if it takes 100 patches"
etc etc - You know you want to!
Ah, hahaha! Oh, my sides! How could anyone not find THAT funny? I'm sure you're busy omg'ing everyone right now. Sign that guy up to write for Root of All Evil because Lewis Black needs to punch up his monologue with online software references. They always kill.
You WoW whiners are nothing but a bunch of Lancelot-come-latelies. Dungeons & Dragons has easily 20 million players. In 1979, while you console pussies were squinting at 8-bit Atari porn (NSFW), the rest of us were in our parents' basements kicking Orc ass and counting how many Devil references and boob illustrations there were in the Monster Manual!
I mention druids and priests but not shamans? They're the same fuckin' thing! I know that because I read it in a book and that led me to read other books. Books like the Players' Handbook for Advanced D&D and books like this one and other science-fiction or fantasy that expanded my vocabulary and taught me about things. The only thing computer games taught me was how to get carpal tunnel syndrome while balancing a bowl of Doritos between my legs. For Dungeons & Dragons players, the only limits were their imaginations. For WoW players the only limits are the imagination of the IT guy who designed their character.
You want a WoW player to write your comedy? Son, I got maps on graph paper funnier than WoW players. Point and click that into your soul shard bag, Leroy Jenkins.
You're playing Dungeons & Dragons online, ya dink! I'm sorry the rest of us didn't need blinking graphics and shiny things to immerse ourselves in fantasy. Using a state-of-the-art flat screen and keyboard doesn't exactly get me in the mood to talk like I'm in medieval times. Oh, sorry, TYPE like I'm in medieval times. Oh, wait, I'm sorry, use a fucking HEADSET like I'm in medieval times.
So the next time you "slay" a dragon with your online "friends" that you paid $15 a month for, remember I'll be in some dude's parents' basement for free with graph paper, dice and a bottle of Wild Turkey. And we will have a sweet, sweet custom-made, drunken D&D adventure with real people and you can kiss the hairiest part of Gary Gygax's decomposing balls!
Update: A response from the world of The World of Warcraft by Mike Schramm
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Hey, D&D is a fun game. It has its merits for sure. If this were an article about D&D campaigning, than yeah you'd have a leg to stand on. However, when you write about a different game, WoW, saying "well that's how it is in D&D, you guys suck"....yeah that's pretty pathetic. Yes true, as someone pointed out earlier, South Park did an episode about WoW, and a lot of the facts were blantantly incorrect, but you know what.....it was at least FUNNY. Which you aren't, sorry to say.
D20's didn't exist back in the day. He was using 6-siders like the rest of us nerds who play both WoW and D&D. ;)
Doesn't excuse the fact that he is still mentally retarded, and my macaw had a larger vocabulary, with more intelligence, than he does.
"I choose to troll the thirteen year olds who play World of Warcraft."
"Your troll is.... *rolls d20* ...successful!"
Well said, Epoc April.
"You craven little blog monkeys think you know fantasy or comedy? Here's a little sample from the WoW Insider..."
actually the reply to this post was way funnier than you sad attempt at the WoW humor. Honestly when wanting to make things actually funny its best to have the truth (facts man, accurate facts), cause as we all know - truth is the best source of humor i.e. kids say the darndest things ring a bell.
"I mention druids and priests but not shamans? They're the same fuckin' thing!"
fail of epic proportions again, good sir. The differences in the 3 classes couldn't be more distinct. Reading books may give you knowledge of 1 fantasy world but obviously they didn't give you the correct knowledge of Warcraft lore.
"Point and click that into your soul shard bag, Leroy Jenkins."
and once again you ruin something that is funny to the WoW fan base by destroying your actual knowlege of it. Leeroy Jenkins = Paladin, Soul Shard Bag = Warlock. Really political views should be about fact of which you obviously have none about WoW
Your target audience is who/what/where? I surely have no clue. If its aimed at actual WoW players then, you should check your facts and know the audience before posting drival that you overheard at the water cooler or should do I dare say the coolaid pitcher at your parents kitchen sink? oh wait I'm sorry daddy's liquor cabinet.
If the target audience wasn't WoW players, then who was it? Anyone who doesn't really play WoW wouldn't even understand your cheap comparisons, so the funny factor flew out the window 10 years before you even thought about it in your ill informed mind.
bleh your post both the 1st and this one are completely epic fail. You should have compared them to D&D since apparently that has more of a following than WoW by what 10-16.5 million according to your numbers?
And to those that complain that "oh you WoW nerds need a life and stop complaining cause someone got a few facts wrong" - how do you take it when someone completely butchers your fun/hobbies/past times? I'm not saying that there should be an uprising and dethroning event but still they should definately get their facts straight before making public fools of themselves. You should also be more clear on who your audience is.
This is like a perfect storm of nerd rage!
So, you're pretty much a 12 year old then? Way to rise above the haters, Captain Fantasy. Lets review the situation: You write some "jokes" about WoW that weren't funny, and weren't even factually correct, so well done on that score. People TELL you that they were'nt funny or factually correct... and your response is what?
"FUCK YOU GUYS IVE BEEN A NERD LONGER THAN YOU COMPUTERS SUCK."
And the comment medieval chat slayed me. Oh, hahahahaha, wait a minute, it didn't. Ever heard of RP realms? Oh of course not, you're knowledge extends to having read "a few books".
Well, pass me the humble pie, looks like you showed us didn't you? Excessive swearing and a claim that DnD is the best fantasy game ever, what a response that is! I'm surprised ANYONE plays WoW after that masteful insight. I mean, hey, with such genius and coherence, surely we don't stand a chance!
Here's some free advice for you, champ: Stop now. Your first article wasn't funny. This article isn't funny. You. Are. Not. Funny.
You really don't know anything about what you've written, do you? I'll put this in a way you'll understand: Face it man, you failed to talk about W to the motherfuckon' o to the W in a funny way. Now take your outdated, boring, bullshit graph paper game, basement dwelling friends, and get the fuck out.
Hmm if this were pvp i'd say someone was butt-hurt lol
"So the next time you "slay" a dragon with your online "friends" that you paid $15 a month for, remember I'll be in some dude's parents' basement for free with graph paper, dice and a bottle of Wild Turkey. And we will have a sweet, sweet custom-made, drunken D&D adventure with real people and you can kiss the hairiest part of Gary Gygax's decomposing balls!"
So what you are saying here is that while all of us can afford to pay $15 a month to play WoW, you 'real" gamers are all still living in your parents' basements because you are alcoholics? GG again.
3 more words:
Not funny, again!
As an avid WoW player, I have to say that those of you now asking for an apology need to log out, step away from the computer and get some friggin' perspective. It was a post on a comedy blog, if you didn't find it funny, don't read the blog. Who cares?
I seriously don't understand the mob mentality occurring here. The South Park WoW episode wasn't "factually correct" (whatever that means) either, but it's still fun to see mainstream media noticing our little slice of pop culture. This should've been met with the same.
The only "epic fail" here is with the WoW fans throwing a hissy fit and Mike Schramm at WoW Insider.