Old School Gamer Responds to "Campaigning in the World of Warcraft" Blog Comments
We stirred up a shitstorm with our recent article "Campaigning in the World of Warcraft." Here to respond to your comments, the writer of the piece, Tony DiGerolamo, an old school gamer:
WoW fans, Indecision readers and concerned nerds,
Recently, my post regarding WoW and politics hit a nerve. Some of you have laughed, no doubt causing Mountain Dew or energy drink to shoot out of your nose. Some of you have pointed out that WoW druids have no scimitars or that Shamans were omitted from coverage or that there is no such thing as a +7 Axe of Reaving. We are very sorry for any inconvenience or stress that may have caused you but...
...you are all wrong.
Yes, there are 3.5 million or 10 million (get your numbers right, people) players of WoW online, but do you people even know what you're playing? It's called D to the fuckin' & to the D, motherfuckers! Dungeons and Goddamned Dragons!
You craven little blog monkeys think you know fantasy or comedy? Here's a little sample from the WoW Insider...
Well, let's have WoWInsider tackle the case -- I'd love to see this written up right, could be hilarious.
[Random Demo Candidate]: "Epic Mounts are to unattainable for the average Azerothian - my plan addresses this with a faction rebate!"
[McCain]: "Clearly, the war between Horde and Alliance must continue, we have to stay the course! Even if it takes 100 patches"
etc etc - You know you want to!
Ah, hahaha! Oh, my sides! How could anyone not find THAT funny? I'm sure you're busy omg'ing everyone right now. Sign that guy up to write for Root of All Evil because Lewis Black needs to punch up his monologue with online software references. They always kill.
You WoW whiners are nothing but a bunch of Lancelot-come-latelies. Dungeons & Dragons has easily 20 million players. In 1979, while you console pussies were squinting at 8-bit Atari porn (NSFW), the rest of us were in our parents' basements kicking Orc ass and counting how many Devil references and boob illustrations there were in the Monster Manual!
I mention druids and priests but not shamans? They're the same fuckin' thing! I know that because I read it in a book and that led me to read other books. Books like the Players' Handbook for Advanced D&D and books like this one and other science-fiction or fantasy that expanded my vocabulary and taught me about things. The only thing computer games taught me was how to get carpal tunnel syndrome while balancing a bowl of Doritos between my legs. For Dungeons & Dragons players, the only limits were their imaginations. For WoW players the only limits are the imagination of the IT guy who designed their character.
You want a WoW player to write your comedy? Son, I got maps on graph paper funnier than WoW players. Point and click that into your soul shard bag, Leroy Jenkins.
You're playing Dungeons & Dragons online, ya dink! I'm sorry the rest of us didn't need blinking graphics and shiny things to immerse ourselves in fantasy. Using a state-of-the-art flat screen and keyboard doesn't exactly get me in the mood to talk like I'm in medieval times. Oh, sorry, TYPE like I'm in medieval times. Oh, wait, I'm sorry, use a fucking HEADSET like I'm in medieval times.
So the next time you "slay" a dragon with your online "friends" that you paid $15 a month for, remember I'll be in some dude's parents' basement for free with graph paper, dice and a bottle of Wild Turkey. And we will have a sweet, sweet custom-made, drunken D&D adventure with real people and you can kiss the hairiest part of Gary Gygax's decomposing balls!
Update: A response from the world of The World of Warcraft by Mike Schramm
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DnD & WOW/MOM vs DNC & RNC. Is this INdecision2008 or GameStop? Will DnD or WOW/MOM get us out of Iraq?
This would make a good segment on the Colbert Show.
Old DND vs New WOW players.
Power to Wowinsider! And dont start talking like you are the most uber 1337 guy on the internet at wow and the most old school RPG'er ever. Your not and your wow jokes wasnt good:P
I have to admit the CC writer's bit and his response to his bit is no where near as hilarious as reading the indignent hissy-fits WoW players are having.
Now THAT's entertainment!
Note to fellow WoWers....we aren't as important as we think we are, k? we can STILL be made fun of....and it's not going to hurt anything. No one is that sacrosanct.
Idea for a new Queest: Find 10 Senses of Humors, and 3 Introspections and return to Tony at Comedy Central.
Reward: Your dignity is returned.
LOLOLOLOL....As a WoW player who won't quit playing it, and as a former 1970s era D&D player..... I get it.
He's joking. He's a comedy writer and NOTHING is funnier than a bunch of us Nerds getting our panties in a knot over a JOKE! A Joke about NERDS, no less!
I thought the CC piece on WoW and the Campaign was funny. Not "George Bush Chokes on a Pretzel" funny, but still funny.
And it certainly PALES in comparison to a bunch oF WoWers bitching about a joke...and then bitching about the joke response to the bitching!
You begin your feeble attempt at a response by spouting your D&D “greatness” but finish by desecrating the recently deceased creators name by referencing his “decomposing balls”
This is beyond a failed attempt at targeting a population segment without knowing the subject matter you are writing about…
This is sub-human
Gary Gygax: /tar Tony DiGerolamo
Gary Gygax: /rude
Since your “only limit is your imagination”, take your graph paper, quit writing on an INTERNET blog and go imagine that you’re funny.
Hey, I know... let's take something going on the the real world (elections) and cross it with something wildly succesful in the MMO world (World of Warcraft) and make something funny! I used to play D&D back in the day, that should be good enough to get me through, right?
Fail. Complete and utter failure. Not even close to being funny to the only people it could have been funny to in the first place... WoW gamers. And then you go into an obscenity laced rant and bash them because they call you on it. Classic fail.
my fantasy is more real than your fantasy because I use graphics paper instead of a computer!
I know your fantasy better than you do because I've been playing mine longer!
nya nya nya nya nyaaaaaa
You're first post was pitiful and embarrasing, but I must say the utter stupidity and nerd-rage-eyness (I know, I'm making up my words here) of this article has definitely entertained me! Kudos to Mike Schramm for provoking such a blockheaded respone from this dumbass, keep up the good work!
/roar
/y NERD RAAAAGE!!
/popcorn
As an old school DnD player, having done so since the old red box set, and having some of the original AD&D books (yes, the ones with full wrap-around art on the covers) I think I have the experience as a tabletop gamer to speak as one.
As a player of WoW, having four characters at max level, all with epic flying mounts, successfully raiding various endgame areas, a decent PvP ranking on one of my characters, and a good circle of friends online and offline that play, I think I have the experience as a WoW gamer to speak as one.
The first article: An attempt at WoW humour with more DnD jokes then WoW jokes. While it was a decent attempt, because it was based on DnD and not on WoW, it failed. I know what the attempted idea was. You wanted to make something that would appear to a wide range of people on something that was popular. You saw WoW is popular and decided to make political jokes using it. The problem is, you didn't have that much knowledge of WoW, so you based it on the knowledge you did have, which was DnD. Of course, since there are a lot of differences between the games in terms of the mechanics and classes, trying to pass one off as the other would not work. Of course, if you tried to do it as a DnD joke, it would have failed because DnD still has a lot of stigma attached to it, and most folks don't want to even admit they play, let alone try and make mainstream jokes about it.
Now, to WoWInsider's reply. First off, I read WoWInsider. Not for the stupid comments by some of the inane readers. Not for the "How to " articles by people who think they know what they are doing. I don't even read it for the commentaries on WoW in the Media by other folks. I read it for news and information about the game and upcoming stuff. The reply was, in essence, a bit childish, but it did have some valid points, some of which I mentioned.
And then comes the "I have a bigger gaming dong" response. Okay, you went WAY over the top here. Yes, you know tabletop. Yes, you can roll a dice. So do I and so can I. But come on, even I know the differences in the games. Even I can tell that your jokes, while well intended, failed to hit their target. Know what? It doesn't matter. You tried. Now you can either say "hey, I tried, and didn't do so hot. Let's all grab a Dew, munch on some cheesies, and have a good laugh." or you can lash out and attack everyone who didn't like your piece. The first route would have gained some support from the less childish ones who criticized, as they can relate to that and it would be a nice geeks-getting-together-despite-difference moment. The second, just adds fuel to the fire. Of course, if all you want is attention, rather then respect, the second is probably the best way to go.
As someone who has done comedy broadcasting on radio, and studied comedy in college, I do have a little insight into what helps make a good comedy writer. The first thing that is key is being able to laugh at yourself. If you can't do that, you are bound to fail. As someone commented, what you did is akin to a car mechanic making jokes about airplane mechanics. It just wouldn't be funny to either group really.