May 6th at 6:30PM

LiveBlog: The North Indiarolina Primaries

POSTED BY: TheInDecider

North Carolina: 99% Reporting
Clinton: 42%
Obama: 58%

Indiana: 95% Reporting
Clinton: 51%
Obama: 49%

1:13 - CNN is calling Indiana for Hillary Clinton. If they are correct, she's won by barely 2%, so the question is, was this enough to keep her in the race? Or more importantly, was this enough to convince HER that she should stay in the race?

It's been a blast, but we've got to go to bed.

Oh, and if you were wondering, the correct answer to the question we asked at 12:29 was "him."

1:07 - On CNN Mayor Rudy Clay is assuring me that (and I quote) "No hanky panky is going on" in the vote counting.

1:00 - From the comments, Sgt. PepperPolitics points out that Chris Matthews predicts that this will be a Hitchcock finish and asks: what does that mean?

12:29 - One of us here at indecision2008.com thinks that Maria Theresa Peterson of MSNBC is hot. Can you guess which one of us this is?

12:26 - BREAKING: Rachel Maddow reports that Barack Obama was run over by a metaphorical truck.

12:12 - Gary Indiana, Gary Indiana, Gary Indiana, that's the place that I call home.

12:08 - The Bad News: Some districts won't report their absentee votes until tomorrow, which may or may not mean we have to stay up all night.

The Good News: The jerk-off sitting next to me who starts singing that fucking song from The Music Man every time they say "Gary Indiana" on the television just went outside to have cigarette. 7 minutes of peace.

11:27 - Rush Limbaugh is apparently claiming that his Operation Chaos has gien Hillary Clinton a seven-point bump in Indiana -- particularly in Lake County -- reports the misspelledly-named Megyn Kelly.

11:08 - We here in the Indecision2008.com world headquarters in Park Slope Brooklyn, being of sound mind and body, have watched CNN all night long and have come to the conclusion that we irrationally, but proudly, hate pundit Lanny Davis for the following Irrational, but proud, reasons:

1) His teeth resemble corn niblets.

2) His shiny black pinstripe suit looks Dick Tracyish in a not positive Dick-Tracy kind of way.

3) He face is shiny in a way that would disgust Madame Tussaud, but not shiny in a way that matches his suit (see #2).

4) He often answers questions by claiming not to know the answer.

5) Back to the suit(see #2). We couldn't find an image from tonight's CNN broadcast that we could use. But he wore the same suit, on Meet the Press, not long ago. We suspect this is his only suit.

lannydavis.jpg

6) Speaking of that suit (see #2), have you noticed that Lanny Davis has no discernible, shoulders of his own? We have.

11:00 - I've gotta say that Hillary sounded remarkably positive and winny even in the face of pretty clear not-win tonight. Can she fool people enough to sway popular opinion?

10:55 - Nice touch bringing up Myanmar (or Burma or whatever). Very anti-robotizing.

10:51 - Oh no! Be careful Hillary. Some guy behind you is about to punch you out with his boxing gloves! Also, some gray haired dude is looking at you lasciviously. And Wolf Blitzer's to your left too.

boxinggloves.jpg

10:47 - Gas Tax Holiday. Check.

10:46 - "Ready on day one." Check.

10:45 - Who's the dude behind her taking pictures of her ass with his cell phone camera?

10:43 - She just sent people to her website for the second time in two speeches.

10:41 - She just called Obama out on calling Indiana "the tie-breaker." Smart move.

10:40 - Hillary Clinton is getting ready to talk.

10:28 - Are you still watching any of this? Are you still there? If so, please tell explain to me why any of us care about any of this stuff that these people are saying on MSNBC, CNN or Fox News? Two weeks ago, Hillary Clinton won a state that everybody knew she was gonna win. And for that, she had turned the tide; she had come back, she had a real chance at winning.

Tonight, Hillary Clinton won a state that everybody knew she was gonna win, and Barack Obama won a state that everybody knew he was gonna win. And now the tide has turned against Clinton; now she has no chance; now she has lost her shot at the White House.

These people are leaves in the wind. Why should we listen to anything these people ever have to say?

Or why should we pretend to listen to anything these people ever have to say?

10:18 - Brit Hume on Fox News reports that we're going to have to wait until midnight for Lake County, Indiana votes. Apparently there were 11,000 absentee votes cast that need to be counted by hand.

This is why I hate Brit Hume.

10:06 - Are you still there with us? Are we still with us?

Anderson Cooper just said that this isn't gonna be settled for another couple hours.

Fuck you, Anderson Cooper!

9:42 - MSNBC is positing a possibility of Obama either winning Indiana or losing it by a hair. It seems that a lot of the districts not reporting are either big college towns or big espresso-drinking enclaves.

9:39 - Well, that was a speech alright. Yesserie, it sure was.

9:33 - Seriously, what the hell is that Izod guy doing behind his sign? Does he have a shelf of cocaine affixed to that sign?

9:26 - Since when does Barack Obama have a brother?

9:25 - Hey, ya know what? There may not be any A&F guys behind Obama. But we've got a turquoise Izod guy who keeps hiding his face behind his "Change" sign to blow out pot smoke or something.

9:22 - Barack Obama has a lot of reasons for why he's "running for President of United States of America" and, oddly, none of them are that he wants to be the President of the United States of America. Wow, what a selfless guy. Or a really stupid one.

9:18 - From the comments...

I like Michelle Obama’s orange dress. I think she may be going for the critical Dutch vote in... let's say West Virginia.

Also, apparently Barack Obama is calling Indiana for Hillary Clinton. (Joe May October)

Really, Joe? I though the orange dress was a bit gouche. I would'a gone with something in a hot salmon.

9:16 - While Barack Obama is saying something or other about something or other, MSNBC has decided to call Indiana as "Too Close to Call."

9:14 - Where are the Abercrombie & Fitch guys? Damn it!

9:10 - Obama is getting ready to talk down in Raleigh, North Carolina. Thank god! Something "interesting."

9:08 - Holy shit! Somehow or other CBS beat Fox News to calling Indiana for Clinton. Brit Hume must be hanging his head in shame.

8:57 - Thank god CNN has cool toys like the giant iPhone to use to look at pictures that somebody's nephew took of something or other, because that's just about the only interesting thing happening tonight.

8:49 - The night's not even over, but Barack Obama somehow managed to pick up a delegate that he found lying on the ground. I hope it was heads up.

8:30 - So it looks like Clinton is the favorite for Indiana tonight. The question remains, by what margin will she win? More importantly, how much does she have to win by to remain a viable candidate?

8:10 - 36% reporting in Indiana, and Clinton leads 56% to 44%. However, according to Wolf "The Beard" Blitzer, a lot of Obama's strongholds are yet to report.

Down southward ways, 5% of districts are reporting in North Carolina, and Obama's leading 66% to 34%.

7:58 - Lacking any actual news to report, Indecision2008.com would like to proudly report that we are the only website that appears when you Google the word "Indiarolina."

7:43 - With 0% of N.C. districts reporting, Hillary Clinton is beating Obama 58% to 38%!

But MSNBC is calling it for the guy with 38%.

obamawinnc.gif

7:25 - BREAKING - Fox News is going to call North Carolina the second the polls close. Brit Hume just promised, and his voice is so calm and authoritative I know it must be true.

Oh and SPOILER ALERT... they're going to call it for Barack Obama. Heck, you know what? Indecision2008.com's going to call it for Barack Obama right now. Take that Fox, we beat you by 5 whole minutes!

7:24 - 12% of Indiana districts reporting. Clinton has a cozy 58% to 42% lead.

7:18 - Fox News is reporting that John McCain just won 21 delegates in Indiana. When added to his original 1331 delegates, that brings him to 1352, finally giving him a comfortable lead over Mike Huckabee with his 267 delegates and Fred Thompson with the 43 delegates he still owes to California.

7:01 - 4% of districts reporting. 59% to 41% in Clinton's favor. That's a 2% drop in less than a half hour. If it's keeps up at this rate, Obama should overtake her by Thursday.

6:54 - This just in! MSNBC reports that Barack Obama stopped into a N.C. bar a half hour ago to kick back and drink a cool refreshing Pabst Blue Ribbon alcoholic beverage. He's gonna lose some votes for choosing such an upscale shi-shi beer. What? They didn't have any Genesee Cream Ale?

6:45 - Wow! For some bizarre reason, According to CNN, exit polls are showing Barack Obama pulling in 92% of black voters in Indiana and 91% in North Carolina. Somebody should get to the bottom of this strange anomaly.

6:36 - 1% of districts reporting from Indiana, and Hillary has a huge lead over Obama with 61% to his 39%!

If only the next 99% remain consistent.

6:28 - McCain wins Indiana AND North Carolina!!! If Fox News can pat themselves on the back for being the first to call Pennsylvania for Clinton then we get to claim this one.

Send us your predictions for tonights outcome.

43 Comments
  1. My favorite part of all this has become Common Sense's rants and all that priceless stupidity and creative spelling. It makes CS seem even more.... unstable. There is this cabin deep, deep in the woods and this maniac with a satellite internet connection saying things like "his spiritual mentor, Reverend Write", or "My pasture is a Nazi and a member of the klan". My pasture is just green and grassy. It has no membership privileges, but a lot of alfalfa. At least CS spelled Nazi correctly! The educated are voting Obama. Thank you for helping us prove our point, Common Sense! Say "hi" to uncle Mike for us.

    by Group Dubbya Bench May 7th at 12:02PM
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  2. Dear Sarg,

    That was to be taken more tongue in cheek due to the ranter that responded. Seems that this thread only attracts Ranters or Spammers.

    Where does a girl have to go to good punchline now a days?

    by Tiffany May 7th at 11:05AM
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  3. The Squeaker Drinking Game:

    If you drank a shot each time a "Talking Head" said SQUEAKER last night, you might be hurling a yellow liquid into a toilet right now.

    Hi Tiffany,
    Not sure what we're alone on. My Hitchcock pole. I think I am having a six hour problem with that one. I know, that you and I feel bad for Hillary and there need be an immediate call to unity. Hopefully Bill is giving it to her real nice like. Arkansas style. Not sure what that means (Arkansas Style). Bestiality? Razorbacking? Is Chelsea now free game for sex jokes since she's now a public figure? Sorry, that was was wrong. seriously, is she?

    http://sgtpepperpolitics.blogspot.com/

    Happiness Is A Warm Gun. End it nice already Hillary.

    by Sgt. PepperPolitics May 7th at 9:21AM
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  4. You really fell down on this one, Indy08. Your so-called "something approximating election news" completely failed to note the most important return of the night!

    Alan Keyes won almost 3% of the vote in the *Republican* Primary in NC. "No Preference" beat him by a mere 7036 votes!!

    That's some serious Keyesceleration, right there! By Oregon, he'll be breaking 5%. If he's on the ballot, maybe. That would probably help.

    by thisniss May 7th at 7:09AM
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  5. I think we are alone on this one, Sgt. Pepper.

    by Tiffany May 7th at 3:13AM
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  6. North Carolina must be a very stupid and uniformed state, but I guess Indiana isn't very far behind. He brings hope and change. He is going to change everyone. We broke away from England because we wanted the government to leave us alone. When will people learn the truth about Obama, his church, and his spiritual mentor, Reverend Write. But who cares if Write is racist; My pasture is a Nazi and a member of the klan, but we just call him crazy uncle Mike. I still go to his church, but I just zone out when he starts talking about bringing down our country and blaming other races for our problems. I mean Obama sounds fantastic with his message of hope and change. Its not like he is a politician who knows what to say to have uniformed people vote for him. He was a bad senator who made crazy votes, but I think he will be a great president. Who better to be president when we are at war with radical Muslims, than the son of a Muslim who grew up in some of the most radical Islamic countries.

    by Common Sense May 7th at 2:59AM
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  7. fucking sweet. my poll (pole) is up.

    monday morning quartbacking is easy. OLBERMANN!!!!! KHAN!!!!!!!

    The Man Who Knew Too Much.

    uhh huh huh, e.

    by Sgt. PepperPolitics May 7th at 1:30AM
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  8. Wolf said she just got off the canvas. All bets are off. Check to Hillary on Indiana. The bookies are going to kill themselves.

    No Hitchcock ending for Mathews. (cock) Soledad also likes squeakers. Candy likes wet ones. Soledad also likes "knocking balls. (non expletive deleted).

    by Sgt. PepperPolitics May 7th at 1:24AM
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  9. She's not worthy of Mt. Ruhsmore. But, in the spirt of Obama's unity theme, maybe she'll get drunk and laid tonight. I feel bad for her. People shouldn't jump ship and a fair percetage of Clinton supporters have said they would.

    On that note, in the SITUATION ROOM on CNN, I really think all the reporters should go in there and beat the living shit out of one another. MSNC can come in. The High Def TV's are like perfect ring ropes. Glass on Blitzer. That big broad Candy can do a Snuka moove on Buchanan. Olbermann and Mathews split and fight amongst themselves. Cooper performs an impossible act on himself. FOX is there. Billo gets his fucking head beat into a pulp. Rush crashes the party. This would also make our country money if made into a PPV. Maddow nekked? Can tag with Brewster. Sweeeeeet.

    http://sgtpepperpolitics.blogspot.com/

    by Sgt. PepperPolitics May 7th at 1:11AM
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  10. She could also fall off Mount Rushmore.

    by Joe May 7th at 1:01AM
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