An incredibly important new scientific report from the New York Times (and then by the Huffington Post) reveals that red-blooded Americans these days prefer politics to sex. I know! OMG!

Sex. Just about everyone likes having it, and even if they prefer not to talk about it, chances are they still think about it. And so, as they say, sex sells.

But move over, love-making, there's a new hot topic in town: the 2008 presidential election.

I've read a lot of articles about the 2008 presidential election. And I've also had a lot of sex. I'm not trying to brag here, but I mean a lot. A lot of long, angry, painful sex. The kind of sex that feels like it will never end and leaves a person desperate about the state of humanity. The kind that makes you realize, with tearful eyes, just how low people can sink.

And I just can't imagine how politics could ever take the place of that.