Rasmussen: Screw This Noise! Let's Just Say Barack Obama Won
You and me and pretty much everybody else in the world aren't the only ones who feel beaten down and tired out by this never-ending Democratic primary.
The polling firm Rasmussen Reports has just announced that it's fed the shit up with all this bullfuck, and -- as far as it's concerned -- Barack Obama is the winner and fuck off...
...while Senator Clinton has remained close and competitive in every meaningful measure, she is a close second and the race is over. It has become clear that Barack Obama will be the Democratic nominee...
With this in mind, Rasmussen Reports will soon end our daily tracking of the Democratic race and focus exclusively on the general election competition between Republican John McCain and Democrat Barack Obama. Barring something totally unforeseen, that is the choice American voters will have before them in November.
Something totally unforeseen like... alligators who fly UFOs that are powered by AIDS? If something like that suddenly became an issue in the primary elections for some reason, then, I think, maybe Hillary Clinton could still have a chance.
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Noooooooooo, i'm not that silly you wrong-thing sayer you. I do have a mark, and I am hitting it. And I am not the Dread Pirate Roberts. I just like to dress up in a mask and tiny pirate pants and run around harassing people with my "sword" from time to time. Nor am I left-handed.
And furthermore, it is not a stretch to say that Wolverine is Jesus Christ. The exact same artistic conflict occurs regarding the wrist and palms. The modern depictions of Jesus with the wound through the palms are incorrect. The flesh and tendons in the palms gives way if you try to suspend a body that way. You have to go through the wrist. Which they did. That's how he was crucified. Further evidence that Thomas's insistence on seeing his hands is, well, served a purpose anyway. Now, Wolverine 's claws are about the same length as the nails used, that is where they would be were they still in his hands as the modern artistic depictions have it and being used as weapons as his executors taunted "come down and prove". Out of thousands of characters, he's the only one who is not invincible, yet is truly invincible. He can be harmed, yet he can heal ("forgive the evidence of the harm") All of the others, can either not be harmed at all, or are dead when they are. Ahem, the conflict is that those claws won't work as they are depicted. They can not be retractable while he is still able to rotate his hand at the wrist freely as he is shown doing many times claws half in or out, being retracted from fully extended with a bent wrist into the gut of an unforgiven, and then retracted immediately completely into the forearm without straightening the wrist and yet the blades do not continue out the bent juncture at the wrist as they would if this prolific depiction was meant to be anything other than the divine guide-post that it is for which all humans owe Stan Lee-living conduit to our truly superior officers, sexual favors and money. I suppose that has to go for Todd Macfarlane too, who finished the job.
Ok kids let this be a lesson to you... Sodium Pentathol and ExLax shots may sound like a fun thing to do... but you could end up like TheDreadIrateRoberts.
Dread Irate Roberts ••• You my biscuit won't rewind these stubborn stains with your fabric brighteners alone! Every smoothness cries out for a lump, I break the surface... mediocrity be damned!!! Yes they cried foul the masses the drones for relief from the cheap plastic lounge chairs of America's patio... we they and you alone will be the ones who have our say by twos and fours and sometimes sixes but never in odd numbers except where we speak alone which would be odd in more ways than one. This we shall see will start lawnmowers with just a single pull and events so improbable as this shall continue unabated spiraling us into a complacency never before seen or imagined by Murphy and his minions and they will weep at the loss of inevitable misfortune and woe because the Utopia we will find will be as bland and boring as pressed khaki slack on stoic mannequins... motionless in our increasingly diminishing imaginations... that slowly disappear like long forgotten vegetables in a bachelor's lettuce crisper! Do not say I did not try to not warn humanity!
Jon says what Jon wants to say, and if he wants to talk about Obama so be it. I heard somewhere that he was gay anyway.
BeeChesGetSheetDone: its a funny thing about the media, all day long all they do is report on the goings on: who said what who went where etc. so what would make someone with so much information biased towards one candidate??? How about the information? How about the fact that they like what they see in Obama and dont like what they see in Clinton? Why else would they be biased? You think its some sort of conspiracy, they know more than you, more than me about these people, they do nothing but report on everything they do, They are knee deep in political bullshit 24/7 and obama presents them with the chance to report on respect...
No comment!!! My lips are sealed!! I'm still trying to digest!!!WTF is right!!!
DreadPirateRoberts(WTF-from the Princess Bride?)
Your run-on sentences in your diatribe only equal the confusion of your metaphors in your dangerously manic rant.
Hillary does not have a chance of winning,she is now trying to use the race card,saying working whites vote for her.I did live video polling of educated suburban whites and found that not only does Barck have a 3-1 advantage
They also think Hillary is Bitchy and trying to be a hardass
Here is an outake http://www.babelation.com/?q=node/385
Hillary Clinton is John McCain minus a penis. Hillary Clinton is a Republican. It has been a long time since a Democrat was a Democrat and whatever Barack Obama really is, he will be powerless to resist the pressure that will be summoned to force his hand into the right action. "He will be successful no matter what he does." He is the perfect geopolitical maneuver. At least half the punch in the fairy dust used to power these valhalla-destined teenagers vanishes back into neverland if you'd name your king-piece Barak Hussein Obama. Were you a strategist, were this a gigantic chess game with all of us calling the shots now, picking our king piece, you'd be a smart thing concerned with nothing more than resolving the necessary evil of getting the representatives of humanity at this stage permanently fucked into the destinies of the humans still there wandering in circles on a short desert route that can be crossed in a few hours, already has been by everybody else, for decades, for centuries, for millenia, and it-the deus ex machina that is millions of embittered people will force the result of the humans of this age "loving" the humans of that age enough to force them out of their dementia. God wants the Lord to rape her. At least to want to. Colonialism was a romance, fuck you you hater bitch, all their tribes' bosses were in on it too. "Sorry we couldn't think of the next math Lady", said the man-of-any-color hundreds of years ago, "but I can make thousands of these kings of the predators do things for you." and that's worth a fuck isn't it?
Now how big a fuck is it worth if you're the guy who got the first woman elected? I'm going to skip a very important part, but at least relay its title-"This Is Not The Kingdom Come. This Is Pre-Kingdom Come. The Commander-In-Chief Of The American Legions Is Now Fulfilling The Function Of Head He-Who-Is-Allowed-To-Kill. You Are Not Ready To Witness Her Kill. In Those Places Where The Lord No Longer Dwells, The Raped Remnants Called Germany And Britain, It Doesn't Mean The Same Thing When She's At The Helm, They Have Not Been Involved In The Lord's Work For A Long Time, His Offices Have Been Here For A Long Time Now. Do Not Put Her Where It Would Count, Here, At This Throne. Or You Will Be Rushing Things Way Too Fucking Far Way Too Fucking Fast. You'll pay as if you fucked everything up yet you did as you were supposed to right, she's on the bullshit-job-throne? Nope. Still not a bullshit job. Not til the kingdom come when all men are useful and obey the sabbath(24 hrs. sleep a week) and love the cherubim as the living God becoming the ubermensch that lost his identity overcame himself and all men's identity of himself-a Lord, and the only possible perpetual motion-human life, is achieved . Until then, there are MANY legal morally required murders of men around the world that do have to be fulfilled. Hillary Clinton's hamstrings will be removed and made into a noose used to draw and quarter the very idea that a woman could ever order men, hundreds of thousands of men, to break commandment for her, a woman who is not their God, men who are not her Lord. You will have initiated this vast cloud of this type of dust that can and will be used to indict, convict, and permanently destabilize this spell you call America. You will be open to dirty nuking. You will receive dirty nuking. You will deserve the dookie Green Day accidentally prophesied. She voted for Iraq without her survival being threatened. She has already fucked her infallibility and the prospects of our avoiding cancers en masse will be greatly improved when her meaningless name is no longer spoken within these borders. I'd say him who didn't vote for it is working for a more infallible God than it who did. And were I now stuck in the resulting clusterfuck I'd now pay attention to him who's God is better.
As that IS what nature is going to be judging here.
Boy wasn't it just the cutest and funniest thing to see O' Brien and Colbert and Stewart argue over who'd made who? Do you really intend to make this of Bill Clinton? No. You won't. Even if you did, by way of sheer rabid suicidal will with the help of the morbidly obese junkie demon Limbo attempting to spread the empty nausea that is his namesake and which yields such men, men who have not the consideration for your constantly running thoughts whose worth is immeasurable to team up with the best talents they can find and admit to themselves long before we are ever asked to witness their product that the best of what they can make will only reliably occupy maybe a few half hour segments, and instead consume large quantities of dead animals and synthetic heroin and find themselves blessed with a vanity so unique and tenacious as to judge the stream of worthless feces that results from such ingredients as worthy, even more worthy to hear and consider than what millions of drivers hearing it might've thought of without it. It is a good enough criticism of art to ask whether or not the page would be better off blank. The air waves would be better silent. You don't care enough about your children or your lovers if you don't do something to end the existence of this individual as the shitty reality is that a vast accessible body of empty vessels, like a Ho Chi Minh trail of evilly-tappable individuals, does exist, was manufactured for the purposes of constructing a very large ATM machine for some humans to use and most humans' to fill it, and waits with empty chest for this abominable waste of the gamble of throwing a dick on a human to tell them what the difference between good and evil is, killing them on the spot. Holocaust before your very eyes. In terms of scoring, yes it is. The actual good that will come from these men will not exceed what would have come from no men being there at all. He doesn't care if you'll laugh or feel good. He is nowhere near any idea that should make you come, that could make you want to come, forever. ...........even if you did make Bill Clinton into-this- this will not be chaos. You will not have overthrown the reality of the existence of her well known betrayal that has become so ubiquitous that no one is mentioning it. How can you honestly believe that nowhere in her mind is the urge to avenge her sullied dignity? You are a stupid child if you believe that. And what I mean by "it will not be chaos" is that you will not be getting away with anything. My little brother is a bronze star recipient armored cav scout. If Bill Clinton's penis ever has anything to do with my little brother's life being dangled in the balance-AGAIN, I and what I am will hurt you, will kill you, will tortue you and your children, will erase your name and your seed from both books, you and all you touched will never be or have been. In seven years no cell in our bodies will have witnessed you or yours either and thus our persons will be clean of you as well. All reality will be beyond the event horizon of you. You the tree, will make no noise, no witness heard it, it did not happen. The words "bla bla happened" will never be spoken, the thought "bla bla happened" will have never been thought in any living human universe. War can prove this. You may invest nine months of Jesusness and put up with the most painful natural experience known to man and be made God by myour effort and never stress again and have all that you want "Thou shall not covet thy neighbors wife" (see how she doesn't leave herself open to incrimination), and be what is good to humans, be credited with all that nurtures and protects us throughout our formative years, all my actions be judged a sin in the light of your divinity, brotherhood be nothing always, and sisterhood always thrive, but don't bet anything you need against the eternal fact that the luck always has and always will start right here, in my cock. That, is what is going through Bill Clinton's mind, and much more, if you hand it over. Even amidst her voting record, what Sicko told you, what common sense dictates has to be in her motivation. Oh he'll be awarded it. All of us will openly humbly bow to him as the Slick-Williest. Then we will butcher you. There is no way in English to relate to you why your warriors abroad will be unprotectable and cut down immediately if either McCain or Clinton is elected, it will be more brutal if Clinton is elected, but ultimately the result is the same for both. And I am afraid in my belly to even speak what relief awaits you, your brothers in Arabia, and everywhere that America has ever touched, if you choose right, and prove, two hundred and thirty two rounds in that America is what it says it is, what it said it could be, the cherubim will have us back brother. The Ark will be real again. I'll see that the gun is my hand, the flaming sword over the garden is in my hand, it is my garden. Let the blood of Abel be heard now, in THIS world that WE live in. We will know what it is to be the champions of life again.
Oh yes, and in an unrelated matter, the smallest jury possible would be two. Otherwise its a judge right? "Judge not lest ye be judged" You're setting her up when you set that gavel in her hand/ring on her finger.
Man.... I so love THE DAILY SHOW have for years.... but this year with the slant and biased support of Obama I am completely sickened..... You should be better then that and....I am old enough to know better!!!!
Take a cue from Senator Reid and be smart and poignant enough ... grown up enough to back off Hillary and let them do there thing..... The MEDIA should NOT CHOOSE THE NEXT OR ANY PRESIDENT... and remain always un-biased... with as much as you all always slam FOX for being slanted to the right.... You are just as guilty of participating in the demise of a truly credible candidate...... Shame on you ....