May 12th at 3:05PM
Which Candidate Makes the Best Sidekick for Which Dr. Who?
Doctor Who, the English science-fiction TV show that's been around almost as long as King Arthur, has had ten doctors over the years. Like the presidential candidates, each one had a distinct personality, his own way of dealing with things and better teeth than most other English people. Naturally, this made us wonder which candidate would match up best as a sidekick for each version of the Time Lord. Here, then, is another time-wasting chart, specifically designed to enrage scarf nerds that relish this beloved, time-traveling limey:
| Doctor | Candidate Sidekick | Why |
Doctor #1 Actor: William Hartnell Description: That old dude. |
John McCain | McCain's Neocon interventionist foreign policy makes him able to deal with revisionist history traveling through time. |
Doctor #2 Actor: Patrick Troughton Description: Moe Howard's twin. |
Hillary Clinton | She was already married to a stooge. |
Doctor #3 Actor: Jon Pertwee Description: Gandalf with a haircut. |
Barack Obama | Large ears frighten Cybermen. |
Doctor #4 Actor: Tom Baker Description: Guy with long scarf. |
Barack Obama | Much like Baker, he'll be the only person out of this group remembered years from now. |
Doctor #5 Actor: Peter Davison Description: Taller, balding John Denver. |
Hillary Clinton | She becomes an expert at flying the T.A.R.D.I.S. through time while fixing her statements about her NAFTA support. |
Doctor #6 Actor: Colin Baker Description: The one that dressed like a Jo Ann Fabrics exploded on his chest. |
John McCain | McCain's first-hand knowledge of the Jurassic Period. |
Doctor #7 Actor: Sylvester McCoy Description: The one that sort of looks like Kolchak the Nightstalker. |
Hillary Clinton | Her stance on gay marriage enrages Daleks. |
Doctor #8 Actor: Paul McGann Description: The awful one from that Fox movie. |
John McCain | Rupert Murdoch makes it so. |
Doctor #9 Actor: Christopher Eccleston Description: The first one not to dress like a tool. |
Barack Obama | Doctor and Barack share "handsome guy tips" with the Elephant Man in Victorian England. |
Doctor #10 Actor: David Tennant Description: The one that banged Sophia Myles. |
Barack Obama | Together, the Doctor and Barack explain to Dr. Who fans what it's like to be with a woman. |
Ask
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I saw this and I found it hilarious.
Thank you, you have made a young sci-fi geek happy
HAHA! Jokes on you! Pertwee never faught the Cybermen!
Oh god, I'm a nerd. A chick nerd at that.
PILES OF HATE PUDDING.
Hey, if they do Harry Potter, David Tennant can be on both lists because he's also Barty Crouch Jr.
You're all missing the larger picture. ALL of the Doctors would want to travel with . . .
(wait for it)
Chelsea!!!!!
You just did Dr. Who because I suggested Star Wars or Lord of the Rings would be next ! Will you go so far as to do Harry Potter ???
Gosh, I hope you are not implying that Christopher Eccleston and Barack Obama are not handsome men-because they are both very sexy.
Tom BARKER???!
Tom Baker...
Only the best Dr. ever.
Ever.
p.s. also the voice-over on Little Britain. "Britain, Britain, Britain"