May 12th at 3:05PM

Which Candidate Makes the Best Sidekick for Which Dr. Who?

POSTED BY: Tony DiGerolamo

Doctor Who, the English science-fiction TV show that's been around almost as long as King Arthur, has had ten doctors over the years. Like the presidential candidates, each one had a distinct personality, his own way of dealing with things and better teeth than most other English people. Naturally, this made us wonder which candidate would match up best as a sidekick for each version of the Time Lord. Here, then, is another time-wasting chart, specifically designed to enrage scarf nerds that relish this beloved, time-traveling limey:

Doctor	Candidate Sidekick	Why
Doctor #1 Actor: William Hartnell Description: That old dude.	John McCain	McCain's Neocon interventionist foreign policy makes him able to deal with revisionist history traveling through time.
Doctor #2 Actor: Patrick Troughton Description: Moe Howard's twin.	Hillary Clinton	She was already married to a stooge.
Doctor #3 Actor: Jon Pertwee Description: Gandalf with a haircut.	Barack Obama	Large ears frighten Cybermen.
Doctor #4 Actor: Tom Baker Description: Guy with long scarf.	Barack Obama	Much like Baker, he'll be the only person out of this group remembered years from now.
Doctor #5 Actor: Peter Davison Description: Taller, balding John Denver.	Hillary Clinton	She becomes an expert at flying the T.A.R.D.I.S. through time while fixing her statements about her NAFTA support.
Doctor #6 Actor: Colin Baker Description: The one that dressed like a Jo Ann Fabrics exploded on his chest.	John McCain	McCain's first-hand knowledge of the Jurassic Period.
Doctor #7 Actor: Sylvester McCoy Description: The one that sort of looks like Kolchak the Nightstalker.	Hillary Clinton	Her stance on gay marriage enrages Daleks.
Doctor #8 Actor: Paul McGann Description: The awful one from that Fox movie.	John McCain	Rupert Murdoch makes it so.
Doctor #9 Actor: Christopher Eccleston Description: The first one not to dress like a tool.	Barack Obama	Doctor and Barack share "handsome guy tips" with the Elephant Man in Victorian England.
Doctor #10 Actor: David Tennant Description: The one that banged Sophia Myles.	Barack Obama	Together, the Doctor and Barack explain to Dr. Who fans what it's like to be with a woman.

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TAGS: Barack Obama, Dr. Who, Hillary Clinton, John McCain

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21 Comments

1. Dear anonymous Indecision 2008 writer,

   Marry me. And if you must decline...send Tennant my way as an apology.

   I would pay good money to see Obama as a special guest companion.

   NK

   by nk May 14th at 9:46AM
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2. I believe (hope!) you placed the adjective wrong in the description of the 8th Doctor! It should say "The one from that awful Fox movie." NOT "The awful one from that Fox movie."

   McGann's Doctor was the only thing about that movie that wasn't awful and he is GREAT in the Big Finish Audios!

   Other than that...as a huge Doctor Who fan AND a huge politics nerd (and Obama supporter!), I loved this. :D

   "Her stance on gay marriage enrages Daleks" and "Large ears frighten Cybermen" made me LOL.

   by Meredith May 13th at 11:25PM
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3. "HAHA! Jokes on you! Pertwee never faught the Cybermen!"

   Ha Hah! That's Funny! Joke's on you- Why do you thinkl Pertwee's Dr never tackled the Cybermen?

   They are all brilliant!

   by Stella May 13th at 10:51PM
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4. I saw this and I found it hilarious.
   Thank you, you have made a young sci-fi geek happy

   by Nate May 13th at 8:25PM
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5. HAHA! Jokes on you! Pertwee never faught the Cybermen!

   Oh god, I'm a nerd. A chick nerd at that.

   by Krissy May 13th at 7:33PM
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6. PILES OF HATE PUDDING.

   by Zop May 13th at 12:10PM
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7. Hey, if they do Harry Potter, David Tennant can be on both lists because he's also Barty Crouch Jr.

   by bearness May 13th at 11:47AM
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8. You're all missing the larger picture. ALL of the Doctors would want to travel with . . .

   (wait for it)

   Chelsea!!!!!

   by Farb May 13th at 10:40AM
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9. You just did Dr. Who because I suggested Star Wars or Lord of the Rings would be next ! Will you go so far as to do Harry Potter ???

   by obamagramma May 13th at 7:48AM
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10. Gosh, I hope you are not implying that Christopher Eccleston and Barack Obama are not handsome men-because they are both very sexy.

    by chiclit May 12th at 11:12PM
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