June 3rd at 8:05PM

LiveBlog: The Final Democratic Showdown Judgment Rapture Armapocalypse

POSTED BY: LiveBlogger

Montana
Obama 57%
Clinton 41%

South Dakota
Clinton 55%
Obama 45%

11:03: We're going to end this before CNN gets to their "magic wall." Goodnight, everyone. Have sweet, sweet, historically black dreams.

10:52: CNN reports that history is being made in the United States right now. And who better to mark to mark this historic moment than a completely inaudible Jesse Jackson on the satellite phone from Tanzania.

10:38: Barack Obama: "This is the moment. This is the time."

And with that, he took off his flag pin, gelled back his hair, looked over his headshot and quit the presidential race to audition for the touring company of Jekyll and Hyde.

10:24: Barack Obama: "I respect McCain's many accomplishments, even if he refuses to acknowledge mine."

And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon....

10:12: Obama thanks his typical white grandmother. Typical.

10:08: Obama enters, the first black candidate to accept the nomination from a major American political party. If I didn't hate U2, I'd probably be really inspired by this.

10:03: CNN calls Montana for Obama based on reports from the loneliest exit pollster in history.

9:54: Hillary Clinton did not concede. In fact, MSNBC's Keith Olbermann now reports that she delivered the speech in an arena with no cell phone or BlackBerry service, so that none of her supporters would know that all of the networks had already called the nomination for Obama and that she might even be even a teensy bit expected to concede.

It was the best she could do, of course, as "Alternate Reality" was already booked by the Ron Paul army.

9:50: Hillary Clinton: "I will be making no decision tonight." Is that really what we want? A leader who can't make decisions?

Score one for Indecision, I guess.

9:45: Maybe it's just because McCain was the opening act, but other than the Obama needling Hillary Clinton really came off well. Nice speech all in all -- for a lady.

9:33: Hillary Clinton is speaking. And Terry McAuliffe is waving. Wave, Terry, wave!

9:26: CNN calls South Dakota for Hillary Clinton. Which means nothing, of course, unless she gets more black or more historic real fast.

9:21: From our comments board:

Chris Matthews brings up a good point. This is the first time in the WORLD that an African American is his party's presumptive nominee. Eat that Mozambique for never elevating an African American to this level.

Thanks to Punditphoelia.

9:11: And with 9% of South Dakota reporting, and Obama losing handily, MSNBC is also calling Obama the presumptive nominee

9:06: According to the CNN pundit panel, Barack Obama's victory comes 45/52/200 to the year/day/month/minute/parsec after Martin Luther King/Frederick Douglass/Paul Robeson/Abraham Lincoln/Michael Jordan said "I have a dream"/got himself on a stamp/sang "Ol' Man River"/freed the slaves/three-peated.

9:02: Oh, and would you know it, he's a black!

9:01: According to CNN, Barack Obama has clinched the nomination. Not the first time he's clinched the nomination, mind you. But the best time.

8:52: This is what I learned from John McCain's speech:

New Or-lee-ans is old douchebag for New Orleans.

Hillary Clinton is the best most best person in the world, and her supporters are even bester.

McCain takes America's economic security as seriously as he takes her physical security, proving that, as president, he will not rape America.

He's just not very good at this.

8:41: McCain on. Turn your damn music down!

8:34: Howard Fineman just burst onto MSNBC and said that an Obama insider has confirmed that Hillary Clinton has promised Obama she will concede only if offered the VP slot, which Obama has agreed to do, on the condition that she promises not to accept.

Clinton, in turn, has promised not to accept, provided Obama promise to lose, paving the way for her comeback run in 2012.

8:25: Wolf Blitzer asks John McCain advisor Steve Schmidt why his candidate is spoiling Barack Obama's party with a speech of his own tonight. Schmidt says that it's time for McCain to start the "great debate" with Obama.

He's right. All of history's great debates have started this way. In fact, it was Abraham Lincoln's giant "fuck you" to Stephen A. Douglas that, ultimately, got the slaves freed.

8:15: 4, now. Not very impressive, for a giant 4.

8:00: To demonstrate how many delegates Barack Obama needs to clinch the nomination, CNN is displaying the world's largest number 6, beating out the previous record holder, "The Whoppin' 6," just off Exit 112 on I-29 in Onawa, IA

Welcome to Indecision 2008's final Democratic primary liveblog. Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama are both slated to deliver big speeches tonight, and the votes of some white people who live far away from each other will be tallied. We'll be updating you when the important things happen, and when nothing does, we'll still pretend every few minutes or so.

44 Comments
  1. I love this guy.

    by kia June 3rd at 10:34PM
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  2. Funny how just two months ago, Hillary offered the VP to Obama. He should take a moment to decline her offer.

    by kia June 3rd at 10:22PM
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  3. Dear MSNBC,
    There are going to be news flashes all night long. Please get the Dickhead with the pager off the set.

    by Punditphoelia June 3rd at 10:11PM
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  4. I really hope Obama leaves her hanging.

    by kia June 3rd at 10:01PM
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  5. Sernity! What happened? Did you overcharge your credit card on one of the $1.99 a minute sites? Be a little bit more discrete, like me and My Stephen.

    by Harmony June 3rd at 10:01PM
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  6. That would be cool Wanda. But we all know I would rather grace the presence of My Jon. The things we could do, I mean, Talk about. I heard he was a great negotiator and debater. That sure what be hot. I would have to pretend to be Anti-whatever he was.

    by Serenity June 3rd at 9:56PM
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  7. Go to HillaryClinton.com and give me your "ideas and any help that you can" translates to: We spent a lot more money than we had and now I can't get approved for a cell phone plan.

    by Punditphoelia June 3rd at 9:53PM
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  8. Hillary is such a dick.

    by kia June 3rd at 9:50PM
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  9. She's insisting on universal health care. But that was #3. #1 Iraq
    #2 Economy
    #4 Education/Opportunity
    #5 respect for her followers

    by obamagramma June 3rd at 9:48PM
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  10. Is there someone actually standing in front of Hillary and typing this thread so I can read this as a LiveBlog?

    by Wanda June 3rd at 9:47PM
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