June 19th at 3:09PM

...You Might Be a Muslim

Barack Obama has launched a website called Fight the Smears, in which he strikes back against the negative jabs that get thrown his way. The site includes a section refuting the rumor that Obama is a Muslim. Counter-refutations have started to surface, including this handy guide we found in the bathroom at Swifty's Swiftboatery Inn and Swiftboatorium:

* If you greet your wife fist-to-fist instead of open palm-to-open palm, you might be a Muslim.

* If you want to turn the USA into a terrorist paradise with universal terrorist healthcare and college tuition credits for every terrorist, you might be a Muslim.

* If you have ever not punched a gay person you totally could have punched, you might be a Muslim.

* If you lob inspiring platitudes like hand grenades, you might be a Muslim.

* If you have talked to a Muslim, you might be a Muslim.

* If young people aren't immediately revulsed by your craggy, translucent skin and creepy old man giggle, you might be a Muslim.

* If you go to a Christian church that has a crazy pastor, you might be a Muslim.

* If you're black and running for president, you might be a Muslim.

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56 Comments
  1. If you are a breakfast cereal made with oats, yogurt, and fresh fruit - you may be a muslix.

    by Punditphoelia June 30th at 9:16AM
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  2. if you make fun of people that say some one is a really a secret muslim, you might be a muslim

    by kainblade June 30th at 3:58AM
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  3. If you lived in a place outside my shoebox-size realm of knowledge, you might be a Muslim.

    by Shreya June 28th at 4:48AM
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  4. If you have a wife named Michelle, you might be a Muslim

    by Max June 26th at 8:59AM
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  5. If your disagreement with a rabbi caused you to declare a Jihad on the synagogue, you might be a Muslim.

    by evildanny June 24th at 4:47PM
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  6. If you have brown eyes and a Muslim name, you might be a muslim

    by ladyliberty June 23rd at 2:56PM
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  7. If you love racing horses and camels, you might be a Muslim.

    by daringtexan June 22nd at 11:17AM
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  8. If you are a Scientologist- You secretly might be a Muslim

    by Harmony June 22nd at 12:00AM
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  9. If you're a football manager, you might be a muslin.

    by Sgt. PepperPolitics June 21st at 11:58PM
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  10. You believe in subtle tactics to destroy an individual instead of straightforward intellectual debate, because your way is evil- You must be a Muslim

    by Harmony June 21st at 11:22PM
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