Barack Obama's Campaign Shopping List
In a stunning acknowledgment that having more money may, in fact, be better than having less money, Barack Obama decided to opt out of public financing for his campaign yesterday, eschewing $80 million in federal funds for the $300 million in his private war chest.
At first glance, this would seem to be a betrayal of many of Obama's core principals -- his commitment to campaign finance reform, tightening ethics restrictions, and not crushing John McCain between his pointer finger and pinky -- but it's hard to blame the man when you realize how many items he's got on his campaign wish list, all of which cost $300 million.
Among those items:
*300,000,000 dollar store mini-detergents
*150,000,000 ironic John McCain yard signs
*300,000 purebred golden retrievers
*50,000 Vespa GRANTURISMOS
*300 pretty good yachts
*50 six million dollar men
*30 twelve-ounce jars of the world's leading mustard.
*1 feature-length campaign ad, directed by Michael Bay
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Be nice Sweetheart. Am I picking up on some Chemistry here?
Yeah, his idea of foreplay would be to turn out the lights.
Remember, he's American. What wouldn't he do!
Well I am the cuter one. Why wouldn't he want to do me?
I think he like you more than he like me. I can tell.
Sarg is looking for a bit of action?!?
Silly Sgt.! They swarmed into other threads, to devour them too, like locusts. I did note that they now make token posts in the overtaken threads which barely mention the topic under discussion. And they've toned down the sexual innuendos a bit.
I've decided to withdraw my bet that it is comedy central. Under my theory, comedy central would have to award itself awards (unless they are only writing as Serenity/Harmony which would be a good goof as well and not posting int eh comments area) and I seriously doubt they would do that. Again, they could just be Serenity/Harmony and have no other handle. So, they are just supects with an off-shoot gag.
The silence is telling silence. Multiple handles by a single blogger is the favorite in Vegas.
The Serenity/Harmony Theory: Eh, I have a question. Can the Serenity/Harmony chatter be considered "good?"
I'll argue for Serenity/Harmony because, it's hard, and I like a challenge. Also...the potential for sex.
1) They play the "heel" like in wrestling. The Andy Kaufman character. You might say something like, "ANDY FUCKING KAUFMAN? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" My reply would be no. It's novel in the sense that it is so fucking exasperating and done in cyberspace, you miss the gag in it. One of the best posters (not me I promise) writes under other plum de noms as well. Round up the Late Night Usual Suspects.
2) I guess that would be, obammagramma, dethanos, bearness, daringtexan, (not) me, kia, and potential offshoots fake handles, etc... sorry if I missed anyone. Woops. Hilo08. (I just want to tell you good luck, we're all counting on you).
3) If it gets you mad, you play into the hand. Especially if that person writes some really funny shit under a different name. I'm virtually certain that's what's going on, and kudo's to Serenity/Harmony/? Because most have called you names, questioned your sanity, your desire to have sex with anyone other than Steve and Jon, and have been generally rude. With cause. But with humor intended. Ok. I can dig it b/c I think that's what's going on. Thus, I'll respond sometimes even when posts are bumped to oblivion. Part of the gig.
4) Could the Serenity/Harmony bit be a gag by one of the Comedy Central Writers? OF COURSE! They are suspect. You don't think they love fucking with us sometimes? I would. But not in a mean way. Just like Serenity/Harmony. I play along and despite anything, never a mean word back or a snipe.
5) Could Serenity/Harmony be a team of bloggers using multiple handles? Sure?
6) Recognizing these ignorant sluts already use two handles, why not three or four or even more? The more I think of it, it's just as likely that they/she/he/them/it are part of the staff here. The Late Night Usual Suspects must include them as well.
In the meantime, I'm reminded again of my boy from Philosophy 101. Descartes. We don't know who's name is what, gender (the "vagina" dialog), style changes are easy to do when thought of, and we don't have access to who is writing what like Comedy Central. We just know someone is writing. It thinks therefore it blogs.
Cool. A mindfuck. Some would argue that it's funny. Assuming Serenity/Harmony are like writing other funny shit, that's a helluva gag. My point would be this in closing, excise out the Serenity/Harmony gag and ask yourself, don't you think one of the really funny writers (blogger or Staff) is using another handle. I'd bet Comedy Central.
The defense rests.
Hey you guys forgot a Barack Obama mug ?!