Catching Up With A Loser: Fred Thompson
Join former United States Senate Pages Dylan and Ethan Ris as they bring you the dish on not just the presidential race but all the exciting triumphs and disgraces inside, outside, and below the Beltway!
Catching Up With A Loser! The Pages are pleased to present the next in our list of 2008 presidential losers: Law and Order star and Elmer Fudd stand-in Sen. Fred Thompson! Thompson, a former Republican Senator from Tennessee, never intended to run for president. He was happy in retirement, making TV appearances and nailing a woman six years younger than his own son. For months, he ignored a burgeoning "Draft Thompson" movement until finally he was tricked into entering the race by a fast-talking rabbit.
Outsmarted and resigned to his candidacy, Thompson plotted a quick exit from the race by refusing to learn anything about the issues, skipping debates, and describing Latino immigrants as "suicidal maniacs [who] want to kill innocent men, women, and children." But much to Thompson’s chagrin, he somehow led in the polls going into July 2007!
As the primary season rolled around, the man Richard Nixon called "dumb as hell" finally managed to chart a course toward the defeat he so obviously coveted. He lost badly in Iowa, New Hampshire, Michigan and Nevada, before announcing he was staking his candidacy on South Carolina.
Thompson's logic was that if he dropped out by January 22nd, he could make it back to Hollywood in time to shoot a cameo as a corpse on CSI: Miami. And South Carolina voters did their part, giving Thompson 16% of the vote and zero delegates.
Visibly relieved, the ex-Senator dropped his campaign faster than NBC could cancel Bionic Woman, happily ending his political career. Now in recent weeks, Thompson's name has been floated as a youthful complement to John McCain on the GOP ticket, but the Senator has quashed those rumors, announcing that if selected, he will move to Canada.
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Reagan was a bad actor and a boring president. Thompson was a bad Senator and worse actor. obama is irrelevant but i'll probably vote for him. Tom Clancy defeated Communism.
wait, xfctr, did i get this right: did you say obama was a phony republican? odd, 'cause I always thought he was a real democrat.
and whether Ronald Reagan was a great actor is a matter of some dispute, as is whether he was any good at all as a president (my still-republican-but-reluctantly-voting-democrat father blames him for selling out the GOP to the religious right).
Fred Thompson= Dumb Grumpy Troll. I'd vote for Cheney twice before him.
Look, I've been reading this series for a while and I do think it's fair and funny. But is Fred Thompson really the dumbest and most Elmer Fudd-like of the candidates? Hello?? Jim Gilmore??
No one said Thompson couldn't be president because of his acting. It has a lot more to do with the fact the he is "dumb as hell." Of course, any "real republican" is probably "dumb as hell". They have to be fairly moronic, or else they might realize how stupid and immoral their party's policies are.
As for Reagan, are you out of your motherfucking mind?!? Ronald Reagan a great actor? He wasn't even a good actor. I've seen more convincing performances from Ice Cube and Roddy Piper.
Defeated communism? What? One nation led by a "Communist" party collapses on his watch and he gets credit for defeating communism? I'm sure China and North Korea will be glad to hear it.
Oh, and you're also forgetting that this "greatest period of economic expansionism" included the biggest increase in the national debt up to that time and caused a recession in the late '80's. Republican fiscal responsibility at it's finest.
this blog is so liberal. fred thompson was a real republican, not a phony like barack hussein obama. just because he was a tv actor doesn't mean that he couldn't be president, after all ronald reagan was a great actor and he was the president who defeated communism and started the greatest period of economic expansionism in history
If America had wanted a nimrod bumpkin to be president, it would have elected Gomer Pyle in 1968.