This Week’s Sign of the Apocalypse: Heidi and Spencer in Iraq | Indecision2008

July 23rd at 10:56AM

This Week's Sign of the Apocalypse: Heidi and Spencer in Iraq

POSTED BY: Rob Kutner

Both Presidential candidates are running on a platform of change, and to some extent they're already making good on that -- whether it's Obama changing his story on the surge, or McCain changing the names of entire countries. But we in the Apocalypse Party demand real change, the kind that will only come from far outside the Beltway -- as in, asteroid, alien landing force, or Jesus-gathering-up-the-righteous far. So whether our new leaders decide to reduce government (by means of a shrink ray) or build new coalitions (of slaves, to build their giant ziggurats), here's another sign that the end-times are coming, to finally put an end to "politics as usual:"

SIGN: Heidi and Spencer from The Hills announce plans to visit the troops in Iraq.

WHY THAT'S A SIGN: Upon witnessing these two shining exemplars of our culture, all remaining friendly Iraqis (both of them) will lose all remaining desire to make Iraq like America. From now on, the model will be Sweden.

WHAT TO EXPECT: The combination of fully-covered-up beautiful blondes, state-of-the-art jet fighters, nukes, and maddening, mysterious extra pieces to otherwise sensible furniture will create a powder keg, triggering the world's most efficiently run nuclear war.

WHY THAT'S GREAT NEWS: Finally, the U.S. finds a face-saving (albeit melting) way out of Iraq.

Take the APOCALYPSE '08 PRESIDENTIAL CHALLENGE now!

Each week, Daily Show writer Rob Kutner, author of the book Apocalypse How (on sale now!), reminds us that the world is about to end...and why we should be psyched.