July 25th at 10:27AM

McCain Veepstakes - Official Vegas Betting Odds

POSTED BY: TheInDecider

Join former United States Senate Pages Dylan and Ethan Ris as they bring you the dish on not just the presidential race but all the exciting triumphs and disgraces inside, outside, and below the Beltway!

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Item! The word in Washington is that Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) is about to announce his pick for his vice-presidential running mate! This will be McCain's most important decision of the campaign. Whoever serves as his #2 will have the responsibilities of:

* Serving as President of the U.S. Senate.

*Being dispatched to dinner functions in countries whose cuisine gives McCain gas.

* Running the country each night from 7 to 8 pm while McCain is watching Matlock.

Washington Insiders have narrowed down McCain's choices to five front-runners and the Pages are pleased to give you our Official Vegas Betting Odds on each of them:

Name Why He'll Get It Why He Won't Page's Betting Odds

Tim Pawlenty

Governor of Minnesota

Evangelical Christian from a potential swing-state. Who wants a vice-president who can't even score with his own wife? 2 : 1

Mitt Romney

Former Governor of Massachusetts

Only candidate who can carry the hedge fund and polygamy votes simultaneously. Americans might be intimidated by such a brilliant, accomplished, righteous, wealthy, handsome family man. (Source: Mitt Romney) Six : Half-Dozen

Charlie Crist

Governor of Florida

Having an obviously gay man on the ticket could help McCain cut into a traditionally Democratic voting bloc. His dark orange tan clashes badly with the McCain campaign's blue-and-white theme colors. 69 : 1

Joe Lieberman

Senator from Connecticut

Brings valuable experience in the field of losing vice-presidential campaigns. Comes with his own theme song. Dogged by insidious Washington whisper campaign that he is a Jew. 666 : 1

Bobby Jindal

Governor of Louisiana

Introduced an Amber Alert for senior citizens in his home state, so he'll be ready to respond when McCain wanders off during a G-8 Summit. America may not be ready for a Catholic vice-president. 1.132 billion : 1
9 Comments
  1. @xfctr
    If Lieberman is just another liberal Democrat, then Ben Stein is my favorite filmmaker.
    -from the department of slowly formulated comebacks

    by Mike Chelen October 3rd at 11:25AM
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  2. Glad to see that the liberals who write this rag actually know what's going on in their country. Pretty standard picks.
    Pawlenty- Unimpressive. His state is way too liberal.
    Romney-Definitely the best pick. Probably the only guy on the list who can turn Massachusetts red.
    Crist-who?
    Lieberman-the ACLU's pick. he's so liberal its like he's a democrat.
    Jindal- you're way off. maybe he'll be the Vice President of Pakistan.

    by xfctr July 28th at 10:19AM
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  3. Dark horse candidate: Dick Cheney. There are no term limits on being vice president.

    by Big Boi July 26th at 10:59AM
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  4. Put a nickel down on the Mormon and his Sister-Wives. Maybe I should hedge a bit with the Muslim. That's a nice payout.

    by Risky Rev. July 25th at 10:21PM
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  5. I'm always for slick hair and Mitt's got it goin' on. Plus there's the whole jackmormon vote.......he does drink, doesn't he?

    by mama4bama July 25th at 9:57PM
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  6. There are Pawlenty of reasons why Tim will get the nomination. Get ready to be bored.

    by booger July 25th at 8:37PM
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  7. chirpchirp: that we KNOW OF!! :-D

    you forgot one more responsibility: becoming president should the 71-year old McCain (God forbid) die before his first term was completed. I'm just saying, he'd be our oldest president, and it's happened 4 times before among younger guys (not counting the 4 assassinations). Sure, medicine is better nowadays, but let me repeat: he'd be our oldest president EVER.

    by iowagradstudent July 25th at 6:14PM
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  8. Why isn't Mitt Romney higher odds?? He's a lock for the VP pick, although with him McCain is doomed, doomed, doomed!

    by Tammy July 25th at 5:37PM
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  9. My money is on Charlie Crist. America's first gay vice president!

    by chirpchirp July 25th at 5:35PM
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