John McCain Calls Off Debate Again to Save Treed Cat
Goddamnit! Looks like there's more trouble in the world.
My exclusive imaginary sources tell me that after single-handedly fixing the American economy, John McCain was on his way to Mississippi to debate Barack Obama when he noticed the McCain Symbol flashed in the clouds above Washington DC.
Apparently, somebody's cat had gotten itself stuck up in a tree in Lincoln, Nebraska. Poor little guy.
So, obviously, McCain has to put his plans aside to come to li'l Rusty's aid.
Country first, you know?
Update: The debate is back on again.
John McCain's Straight Talk Invisible Jet touched down in Lincoln moments ago, after which time the Arizona senator made one single three-mile leap to where the scared little kitten was shivering in an oak tree and snatched it from a branch before making a perfect 10.0 landing.
He then proceded to reach inside a 93-year-old neighbor's chest and massage his fluttering heart until it began beating as steadily and strongly it had when the man was 13 years old.
Next stop, Mississippi!
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McCain had to fight off the Vietnamese, cats, scorpions, and a black man. I don't know, that's a pretty good record.
Hannilert! John McCain calls off debate after filing police report that one of his homes is missing..."A man's homes are his castles" says McCain...
And this 2008 Presidential Election Weekly Poll says it all.
You Won't Believe These Results!
http://www.votenic.com
Also, voice your opinion on the $700,000,000,000 Bailout!
I'm John Obama and I Approve this message!
McCain is going solve the crises on Wall Street by crush the faulty mortgages in with his bare hands and turn them into diamonds. His laser vision will make a fine ABM defense system to protect the country.
You know where McCain is by the trail of chaos & knashing teeth behind him.