Indecision2008 | Comedy Central

Caption Challenge: George W. Bush and Dugout

TheInDecider — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 15:17:11 +0000

Just to clarify, Little League mascot "Dugout" is the one on the left.

Leave your captions in the comments section of this post, and feel free to enter as many times as you like!

Sarah Palin Successfully Avoids Gaffes on Meet the Press, This Week, FOX News Sunday and Face the Nation

Dylan Ris — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 15:14:38 +0000

Segments of the Republican Party entered the weekend terrified that Sarah Palin would derail her candidacy with an embarrassing statement on Meet the Press, This Week or Face the Nation this weekend. It turns out they had nothing to fear at all.

Palin's utter lack of blunders or ignorant remarks on the Sunday interview shows proved that she was hardly your typical candidate for vice president. Not once this weekend did she...

* Pump her fist at Bob Schieffer and shout "Drill baby, drill!"

* Pledge to George Stephanopoulos that, once in Washington, she will hunt her own meals via assault rifle out of a helicopter.

* Assure FOX's Chris Wallace that she could "pray away the gay" in Shepard Smith.

* Lie to Tom Brokaw about selling a jet on eBay and opposing the "Bridge to Nowhere."

That's right, to the relief of her supporters, Palin didn't do any of those things this weekend.

No, it turns out she spent most of Sunday doing something infinitely more vice-presidential...

Hiding out in an undisclosed location.

WINNER Caption Challenge: Sarah Palin

TheInDecider — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 15:08:24 +0000

Submitted by colbertmyantidrug, with 36% of the vote. Thanks, as always, to everyone who participated!

Barack Obama Thinks About Military Service Completely Backwards

Ethan Ris — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 15:06:22 +0000

Barack Obama has divulged in an interview with ABC News that he once considered joining the military...

In an exclusive "This Week" interview, Obama told George Stephanopoulos that he considered joining the military after finishing high school.

"I had to sign up for selective service when I graduated from High School," he explained. "I actually always thought of the military as an ennobling and you know, honorable option."

Obama suggested his decision not to enlist was an issue of timing, not service. "I graduated in 1979. The Vietnam War had come to an end. We weren't engaged in an active military conflict at that point. And so, it's not an option that I ever decided to pursue," he said.

Gotta admit here that I'm confused. Obama thought strongly about joining the military, but didn't do it because the Vietnam War was over.

What was his thought process? "Well, I'd like to sign up, but now we're in peacetime. I'd probably spend my time hanging out at some base in California, doing nothing but playing ping pong and receiving generous benefits and money for college. Nah. If you don't get to get shot and die for a worthless cause in a Vietnamese jungle, what's the point?"

Sarah Palin Now Leads Barack Obama by 10 Points

TheInDecider — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 02:39:28 +0000

In a USA Today/Gallup Poll released today (tomorrow's print edition), John McCain and Sarah Palin now lead Barack Obama and that other guy by 10 points.

In the new poll, taken Friday through Sunday, McCain leads Obama by 54%-44% among those seen as most likely to vote. The survey of 1,022 adults, including 959 registered voters, has a margin of error of +/— 3 points for both samples.

I'm really happy to see this poll. Not so much because it puts McCain in the lead, but because it points out the true value of the Gallup organization.

You see, Gallup also does a "daily tracking poll," and here are the results of that one.

So this means either:

Something crazy happened on Sunday to swing 6% of America (it didn't).
Gallup saves it's best polling practices for real newspapers.*
Gallup doesn't know what the @#$@ it's doing.

*All respect to Susan Page whom I enjoy regularly when she fills in for Diane Rehm. Seriously.**

**Can I come on the show now?

The Triumph of the Drill

Dennis DiClaudio — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 18:27:04 +0000

So, wait a minute. We couldn't score the credentials to get into the Xcel Energy Center to participate in the Republican National Convention, but Triumph the Insult Comic Dog could?

I feel neutered, somehow...

However, I will say that Triumph's political analysis was appropriately sober and thoughtful.

Well, for the circumstances.

(via Videogum)

Joe Biden Wears His Brother's Belt

Dennis DiClaudio — Sat, 06 Sep 2008 18:03:13 +0000

Here's a video of Democratic VP nominee Joe Biden speaking about John McCain, Sarah Palin and the RNC in Pennsylvania that's making it's way around the political blogopolis...

I was trying to figure out what to make of it, so I started watching some of the response videos to see what other people thought.

And, in doing so, I came across this very heartfelt and astute reaction...

Hmmm... That's a very interesting point. I'll have to think on that.

Stephen Colbert Offers New John McCain Green Screen Video

Michael Kraskin — Sat, 06 Sep 2008 11:36:58 +0000

In a further attempt to help make John McCain interesting, Stephen Colbert has offered John McCain's latest green screen video for download over at colbertnation.com.

Go nuts!

The Beat Don't Go On For America's Hip Hop Mayor

Dylan Ris — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 20:40:05 +0000

We finally have an answer to the age-old hypothetical question: "If I'm mayor of the 11th largest city in the country, how many felony counts for perjury, obstruction of justice, misconduct in office, and assaulting a police officer would it take before I have to resign?"

The answer is ten...

Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick pleaded guilty to a pair of felony obstruction charges on Thursday in a sex-and-misconduct scandal and will step down after months of defiantly holding onto his job leading the nation's 11th-largest city.

The plea deal brings to an end a seven-months-long sex scandal that led to felony charges against Kilpatrick and plunged the city, region and state into political chaos….

Kilpatrick had faced 10 felony counts in the two separate criminal cases and could have faced up to 15 years in prison had he been convicted of perjury.

The plea deal was a wise choice for "America's Hip Hop Mayor." The court of public opinion had already indicted him, and further resistance would have led to his removal from office by Michigan Governor Jennifer Granholm, (who looks like she listens to country.)

Kilpatrick apologized to supporters in a press conference, noting that "supporting me has not always been easy, but it has not been boring either." Indeed, in the grand scheme of mayors, Detroiters have had a pretty fun ride with Kilpatrick—especially when you compare him to tedious squares like Ed Koch and Marion Barry.

And there's good news for anyone who fears that life without a justice-obstructing, stripper-hiring, sheriff's-deputy-assaulting, 14,000-lurid-text-message-sending mayor will be too boring to endure…

Kilpatrick is only barred from holding office for five years.

RNC Studs and Duds

Dylan and Ethan Ris — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 19:29:24 +0000

Last week we brought you our wrap-up of Studs and Duds from the Democratic National Convention. And as Mitt Romney might contend, why grant privileges to terrorists if we aren't going to give them to our own true Patriots? Well, say no more, Governor! Here are your RNC Studs and Duds…

STUDS:

Sarah Palin: Unprepared? Hardly! Palin delivered the words of a George W. Bush speechwriter to perfection, and never once burst into tears -- even when mocking community organizers.

Joe Lieberman: The Connecticut "Democrat" boldly abandoned 90% of his principles to endorse McCain, which won him lots of new friends while doing away with that nasty committee chairmanship that's been weighing him down.

Fred Thompson: The failed "dumb as hell" presidential candidate redeemed himself by delivering a fiery recount of each individual wound sustained by John McCain as a North Vietnamese POW.

DUDS:

Rudy Giuliani: America's Mayor talked long enough to preempt a Sarah Palin video, and yet inexplicably made just one reference to 9/11. That's like Don McLean giving a concert and not playing "American Pie"!

Levi Johnston: Bristol Palin's Baby Daddy -- his MySpace photos plastered all over the internet -- was dragged onstage and paraded around like a pony. His life is over.

The Obnoxious Republican Delegates: McCain served in the Navy and was a POW. They, on the other hand, dressed in flag outfits and chanted "U-S-A!" and "Drill Baby Drill!"

John McCain: By failing to die onstage -- which would have boosted Sarah Palin to the top of the Republican ticket -- he disappointed the base.