Results for ‘Accessories’:

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July 2nd at 10:13AM

Blo & Go, That Is the Tempo

POSTED BY: TheInDecider

Join former United States Senate Pages Dylan and Ethan Ris as they bring you the dish on not just the presidential race but all the exciting triumphs and disgraces inside, outside, and below the Beltway!

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Quickly: What has copious amounts of hair, the love and affection of a U.S. Senator, and recent heavy coverage in The Washington Post? If you said Roger Clemens' butt, shame on you! The answer is former runway model Laurie Coleman, wife of Senator Norm (R-MN)!

Coleman, who is already being called the Thomas Edison of late June 2008, is the inventor of the gloriously named Blo & Go, which is an apparatus that holds one's hairdryer in place, freeing the hands to style hair and accept illegal gifts from lobbyists. As Mrs. Coleman tells it, the Blo & Go satisfies her need for "something of great quality that was really going to stay up." Jealous, Senator?

But if the Colemans are to sell enough Blo & Go's to get Norm out his dank apartment in a GOP goon's basement, they're going to need to start recording sales with some of Washington's elite politicians. Mrs. Coleman, if you're reading this, here are some public servants that the Pages believe would eagerly purchase a product with the name "Blo & Go":

* Sen. John Edwards (D-NC): Edwards collects hair-care appliances like ex-Rep. "Duke" Cunningham (R-CA) collects jail sentences, and at $29.99 apiece, he can afford 13 Blo & Go's under his current hair budget.

* George W. Bush: A name like "Blo & Go" permits Bush to primp for warmongering news conferences while simultaneously reminiscing on how he spent the 1970's.

* Sen. Byron Dorgan (D-ND). Dorgan sees a highly public purchase of the Blo & Go as his chance to convince constituents that the cheap rug he wears is actually his hair.

* Bill Clinton: The former president may better relate to the product if the word "Go" is replaced with "Discuss the Bosnian Civil War with a Member of Congress."

* Sen. Larry Craig (R-ID). It's fortunate that Coleman doesn't offer refunds, because Craig is going to mistake this product for an airport concierge service.

LAST COMMENT:

when republicans talk about blow they are referring to hairdrying, when dems talk about blow they mean oval office sex (clinton) or cocaine use (obama's own biography)

by xfctr July 2nd at 3:38PM
June 20th at 12:00PM

Barack Obama is Proud That Jesus Was an American

POSTED BY: CubbyChaser


Slate has a list of a whole bunch of brand new Barack Obama rumors that you'll likely find floating through the Internet soon enough. Here's a few of my favorites...

Barack Obama wears a FLAG PIN at all times. Even in the shower.

Barack Obama says the PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE every time he sees an American flag. He also ends every sentence by saying, "WITH LIBERTY AND JUSTICE FOR ALL."

Barack Obama is a DEVOUT CHRISTIAN. His favorite book is the BIBLE, which he has memorized. His name means HE WHO LOVES JESUS in the ancient language of Aramaic. He is PROUD that Jesus was an American.

Barack Obama's skin is the color of AMERICAN SOIL.

If the Internet says it, it must be true.

LAST COMMENT:

They'll admit he exists, but..eh...he's no chosen one. A nice boy and all, but son of god? That's a bit a stretch.

by Dethanos June 22nd at 5:09PM
June 13th at 1:20PM

Barack Obama Wears a Helmet, Looks Like a D-Bag

POSTED BY: CubbyChaser