Results for ‘Barack Obama’s Penis’:

6 TOTAL POSTS

November 17th at 11:08AM

Change Needed as Millions of Hope Babies Set to Arrive

POSTED BY: Dennis DiClaudio

Barack Obama hasn't taken office yet, and he may already be responsible responsible for impregnating more women than Bill Clinton, John Edwards and Janet Napolitano combined...

The theory is almost too perfect to be true. Barack Obama, the son of politically progressive parents, was born Aug. 4, 1961 -- almost nine months to the day after John F. Kennedy was elected to the White House. Is it possible Obama was conceived on that historic night?

And if so, could history repeat itself? In the hours and days since Obama's victory, many of his exhilarated supporters have been, shall we say, in the mood for love.

And though it's too soon to know for sure, experts aren't ruling out the possibility of an Obama baby boom -- the kind of blip in the national birth rate that often follows a seismic event, whether it's scary (a terrorist attack) or celebratory (the end of World War II).

Hopefully, these kids will be happier, more docile and less scared-shitless than their seven-year-old siblings.

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LAST COMMENT:

If your significant other is a Republican, prepare for many dry seasons -- proving once and for all Obama will not bring change.

by Cube November 17th at 1:27PM
2 Comments
November 4th at 2:28PM

Let Freedom Vibrate!

POSTED BY: Gonzalo Cordova

As Eric informed us earlier, a quaint little shop called Babeland is offering free curios to voting patrons.

If the Maverick rhetoric in the presidential campaigns is doing anything, we hope it’s motivating everyone to get out and vote. Which is why we’re giving away a real Maverick, absolutely FREE to all voters. All men, not just Joe Six Pack, love the Maverick sleeve ($20 value) by Vibratex. He’s always there to lend a hand, he works for every man, and he bucks the status quo.

I feel like bucking the status quo right now. I want to buck the hell out of it.

Wait, it gets better. We’ve got one more enticement. A free Silver Bullet ($15 value), because that’s what our country needs right now, a magical solution to difficult problems. Babeland’s most popular compact mini-vibe feels fantastic and is a great stress-reliever during these troubled economic times!

Aw, man, I just relieved my stress all over my hand. Yuck.

Bring a voter registration card, ballot stub or your word of honor that you cast a ballot on November 4th and we’ll give you either a free Maverick sleeve or a Silver Bullet. This offer is good at any Babeland location in New York and Seattle November 4-11, while supplies last.

Even if you don't have the hard evidence you slipped your ballot into the slot, your word of honor, via oral confirmation, is enough, because who's more honorable than a sex-shop customer? The election is in your hands, people!

Let's all applaud the good people at Babeland for insuring that this election, there's one poll that can't be denied (hint: it's your penis).

Hurray for excessive innuendo!

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"Putting the POWER back into the hands of the voters"!

by trauma63 November 4th at 2:54PM
1 Comment
October 13th at 6:58PM

I Saw Barack Obama Kissing Some Lady Somewhere

POSTED BY: Dennis DiClaudio

Obviously, the problem is not that Barack Obama doesn't love America.

It's that maybe he loves America a little too much.

(via Townhall)