Articles tagged Dr. Who | Indecision2008

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May 12th at 3:05PM

Which Candidate Makes the Best Sidekick for Which Dr. Who?

Doctor Who, the English science-fiction TV show that's been around almost as long as King Arthur, has had ten doctors over the years. Like the presidential candidates, each one had a distinct personality, his own way of dealing with things and better teeth than most other English people. Naturally, this made us wonder which candidate would match up best as a sidekick for each version of the Time Lord. Here, then, is another time-wasting chart, specifically designed to enrage scarf nerds that relish this beloved, time-traveling limey:

Doctor	Candidate Sidekick	Why
Doctor #1 Actor: William Hartnell Description: That old dude.	John McCain	McCain's Neocon interventionist foreign policy makes him able to deal with revisionist history traveling through time.
Doctor #2 Actor: Patrick Troughton Description: Moe Howard's twin.	Hillary Clinton	She was already married to a stooge.
Doctor #3 Actor: Jon Pertwee Description: Gandalf with a haircut.	Barack Obama	Large ears frighten Cybermen.
Doctor #4 Actor: Tom Baker Description: Guy with long scarf.	Barack Obama	Much like Baker, he'll be the only person out of this group remembered years from now.
Doctor #5 Actor: Peter Davison Description: Taller, balding John Denver.	Hillary Clinton	She becomes an expert at flying the T.A.R.D.I.S. through time while fixing her statements about her NAFTA support.
Doctor #6 Actor: Colin Baker Description: The one that dressed like a Jo Ann Fabrics exploded on his chest.	John McCain	McCain's first-hand knowledge of the Jurassic Period.
Doctor #7 Actor: Sylvester McCoy Description: The one that sort of looks like Kolchak the Nightstalker.	Hillary Clinton	Her stance on gay marriage enrages Daleks.
Doctor #8 Actor: Paul McGann Description: The awful one from that Fox movie.	John McCain	Rupert Murdoch makes it so.
Doctor #9 Actor: Christopher Eccleston Description: The first one not to dress like a tool.	Barack Obama	Doctor and Barack share "handsome guy tips" with the Elephant Man in Victorian England.
Doctor #10 Actor: David Tennant Description: The one that banged Sophia Myles.	Barack Obama	Together, the Doctor and Barack explain to Dr. Who fans what it's like to be with a woman.