Results for ‘Economy’:

121 TOTAL POSTS

December 1st at 1:52PM

That Recession That Isn't Going to Happen Is Happening

POSTED BY: Dennis DiClaudio

Hey, remember that supposed "recession" that was supposedly going to happen that all you whiners were whining all about for the past year or so.

Well, it turns out that all economic experts were right. There's nothing at all to worry about. A recession is not going to happen. No way! Because the recession already started, like, a year ago or something...

The evidence of a downturn has been widespread for months: slower production, stagnant wages and hundreds of thousands of lost jobs. But the nonpartisan National Bureau of Economic Research, charged with making the call for the history books, waited until now to weigh in.

In a statement released Monday, the members of the group's Business Cycle Dating Committee -- made up of seven prominent economists, most from the academic sector -- said that the economy entered a recession in December 2007.

See? Don't you feel silly now?

I can't wait to collect on all the bets I made as soon as everyone I know gets some jobs.

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LAST COMMENT:

You're my recession. My only recession. Who do you want me to be, to make you sleep with me.

by wrong December 2nd at 12:15AM
2 Comments
December 1st at 12:41PM

Black Friday? Cyber Monday? Green Monday? Just Shop, Dammit, Shop!

POSTED BY: Mary Phillips-Sandy


All right, (In)Deciders, did you do your American duty by waking up at 4 a.m. on Friday to stand in line for a 50 percent discount on a flat-screen television made by people who live far, far from America? If so, congratulations. You helped drive retail sales up 3 percent, but before you start high-fiving your credit card, please note that this was the weakest Black Friday growth in three years.

Never fear, though: Today is Cyber Monday, the biggest day for online shopping. Millions, billions of dollars, flowing through the inter-tubes and into retailers' coffers. That'll fix everything right up...

[T]he data suggest the significance of Cyber Monday is overrated. "Cyber Monday has never been the biggest day for online shopping," according to Craig Berman, a spokesman for online megaretailer Amazon.com Inc. For instance, Berman said that last year Amazon's biggest shopping day fell on Dec. 10. Historically, the company's biggest shopping day typically falls around the second week of December, he added.

This has led to a new, artificially coined designation -- Green Monday. Online auctioneer eBay Inc. cooked up the term to refer to the last day in which online shoppers can still lock in free-shipping deals in time for Christmas.

And if Green Monday doesn't cure our economic woes, there's always I Just Got Fired So I Drank a Lot and Went on an Ill-Advised Shopping Spree Friday.

Or, you know, It's Not a Recession Any More Tuesday.

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