Exit polls are just starting to trickle in, but some leftie types want the networks to call the election long before the polls close. Because that's always a fantastic, accuracy-prone idea...

The New York Times reports that CBS and Slate may call the election before the polls close around the country. I hope they do.

I think it will be an early night and the outcome will be known as soon as Ohio, PA, Florida, Indiana and Virginia are projected....

Why drag it out? Let's begin the celebration early.

Exactly! Look, if the West Coast insists on being in a distant time zone, that's their business.

But that doesn't mean everyone else should have to drink flat champagne.

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As Eric informed us earlier, a quaint little shop called Babeland is offering free curios to voting patrons.

If the Maverick rhetoric in the presidential campaigns is doing anything, we hope it’s motivating everyone to get out and vote. Which is why we’re giving away a real Maverick, absolutely FREE to all voters. All men, not just Joe Six Pack, love the Maverick sleeve ($20 value) by Vibratex. He’s always there to lend a hand, he works for every man, and he bucks the status quo.

I feel like bucking the status quo right now. I want to buck the hell out of it.

Wait, it gets better. We’ve got one more enticement. A free Silver Bullet ($15 value), because that’s what our country needs right now, a magical solution to difficult problems. Babeland’s most popular compact mini-vibe feels fantastic and is a great stress-reliever during these troubled economic times!

Aw, man, I just relieved my stress all over my hand. Yuck.

Bring a voter registration card, ballot stub or your word of honor that you cast a ballot on November 4th and we’ll give you either a free Maverick sleeve or a Silver Bullet. This offer is good at any Babeland location in New York and Seattle November 4-11, while supplies last.

Even if you don't have the hard evidence you slipped your ballot into the slot, your word of honor, via oral confirmation, is enough, because who's more honorable than a sex-shop customer? The election is in your hands, people!

Let's all applaud the good people at Babeland for insuring that this election, there's one poll that can't be denied (hint: it's your penis).

Hurray for excessive innuendo!

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Tampa Bay's local Fox affiliate posted an interactive map of voter complaints. The map reveals some have not been able to rock the vote. In fact, they weren't even able to smooth jazz the vote.

Miciala G. reports: "I was not able to vote. I relocated to Pinellas County June 2007. I registered to vote at the same time I changed my driver's license. This morning, I was informed that my voter registration was "illegible" due to the scan from the DMV. The volunteer at polling place told me there is nothing I can do. She also told me that they have see (sic) this problem a lot."

Robert K. reports: "They are denying my right to vote . . . I waited in line for an hour, but the polling officer was pulling others further back in the line, short of a riot, they discontinued
When I presented my ballot, it wasn't scanned, presumably the reader was not "working". When I phoned the Supervisor of Elections office I was put on hold, then someone picked up only to hang up upon me."

The most common complaint involves the scanners jamming or breaking down. It seems like many voting locations don't have repairmen at the ready to help fix these problems, because that doesn't seem like an important thing to have, right?

But don't worry. For every person that doesn't vote, there's one person that votes twice.

Keith B. reports: "I voted last Wendsday (sic) for the early vote. I went this morning just to check the system out and they let me go through and I could have voted twice. I stoped (sic) once they gave me the ballot, and told them I had already voted. There are 6 books with each name in each book. Someone can walk up to one book, sign and vote. Later come back go to another book and do the same."

Democracy works!

Good thing there aren't people actively attempting to disenfranchise voters.

It appears someone hacked into George Mason University's e-mail system late last night and sent out a hoax message...

The short message, which looked as if it came from the office of Provost Peter N. Stearns, was addressed to the Mason Community at large: "Please note that election day has been moved