Results for ‘It DO Mean a Thing’:

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November 3rd at 2:00PM

It DO Mean a Thing!: Swing State Profiles - New Mexico

POSTED BY: Dylan and Ethan Ris

As we push toward November 4, it's time to focus on our nation's Swing States (i.e. the ones who will pick a president for the rest of us based on whoever's negative ad they saw last.) So tough toodles, Texas. Nous sommes désolés, Massachusetts. Let's investigate a state that matters for a change…

New Mexico's Key Players

* Governor Bill Richardson: Is strongly backing Obama in the hopes that he'll appoint him to the Kansas City Athletics' roster.

* Aging political patriarch Stew Udall: Has legally adopted Obama in the hopes of having his family dominate all of Washington.

* The Weekly World News Space Alien: Its recent endorsement of McCain has tipped the balance for Roswell swing voters.

Obama's Constituency

* New-age hippies in Santa Fe, whose needed support famously brought Joe Biden onto the ticket.

* Transplants from Arizona, who moved in search of better Senate representation.

* Gay chili farmers.

McCain's Constituency

* Residents of Taos, who believe their city's name would be ideal for Sarah Palin's next child.

* Minutemen desperate to seal the state's southern border against Mexicans and its northern border against deranged Colorado Rep. Tom Tancredo, who would very much like to join them.

* Manhattan Project scientists in Los Alamos, who applaud McCain's a) zeal for nuclear power and b) overall 1940s approach to foreign policy.

Predicted Winner: Obama
George W. Bush won New Mexico by 5,988 votes in 2004. But counteracting that is analysts' belief that Obama's recent endorsement from actress Fran Drescher is worth at least 6,000 votes statewide. This one's all wrapped up.

Check out more Swing State Profiles here!

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LAST COMMENT:

Bill Richardson is gunning hard for Secretary of State in an Obama administration. If he wants it, he better deliver the goods on Tuesday!

by ChilePop November 3rd at 4:39PM
2 Comments
November 3rd at 12:40PM

It DO Mean a Thing!: Swing State Profiles - Montana

POSTED BY: Dylan and Ethan Ris

As we push toward November 4, it's time to focus on our nation's Swing States (i.e. the ones who will pick a president for the rest of us based on whoever's negative ad they saw last.) So tough toodles, Texas. Nous sommes désolés, Massachusetts. Let's investigate a state that matters for a change…

Montana's Key Players

* Governor Brian Schweitzer: Has done for bolo ties what Jackie Kennedy did for pillbox hats.

* Senator Jon Tester: Has done for cutting your hair with a lawn tractor what Jackie Kennedy did for going to a stylist.

* Former Senator Conrad Burns: Although he lost his seat in 2004, he can still influence the voters he greets at the entrance to the Butte Wal-Mart.

Obama's Constituency

* Gay cowhands working up on the old Brokaw ranch.

* Extras on the set of "A River Runs Through It 2: The College Years."

* The African-American population, which will be voting absentee due to a business meeting he's attending in Milwaukee.

McCain's Constituency

* Residents insisting on stepped-up border security to protect against Canadians who swore to move to the U.S. if Prime Minister Stephen Harper was reelected.

* Salmon grateful for Sarah Palin's anti-bear executive record.

* Exurb commuter families who got priced out of North Dakota.

Predicted Winner: McCain
Ever the wily veteran, McCain won't repeat the same mistakes his commanding officer made at Little Bighorn.

Check out more Swing State Profiles here!

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