Jesse Ventura Joins Al Franken in Senate Battle Royale
Jesse "The Body" Ventura is getting back into Minnesota politics, this time running for Senate against incumbent Republican Norm Coleman and Democratic challenger and "funny" man Al Franken, because, you know, the race for that seat wasn't gonna be quite wacky enough...
Ventura, born Jim Janos, tells Welna that the main reason he's running is because of Coleman's support for the war in Iraq. "That's the reason I run," he says. "I run because it angers me...
"All you Minnesotans take a good hard look at all three of us. And you decide: if you were in a dark alley which one of the three of us would you want with you?"
Granted, that's probably most appropriate way to choose our elected officials. But I'm not sure that, based upon that logic, Ventura is gonna get the results he wants.
First of all, Ventura just told us that he's angry, and we know he's pretty huge. And if I remember correctly from watching the WWF as a kid, he's kind of shiftless and unpredictable. For all I know, he'd take advantage of the darkness of the alley to whack me with a folding chair.
As for Coleman, I'm really not that familiar with his physique, but because he's a Republican in Congress, I can only assume he's a closeted homosexual. I'm not saying he is, but that does seem to be the trend doesn't it. And if there's one thing I've learned about closeted homosexuals is that they've got a lot of pent up rage. (Plus, if I'm in a dark alley, I'm probably trying to give somebody an abortion, and I don't need no Republicans interfering.)
So, I guess I'd go with Al Franken. I still think he could kick my ass, but probably not as badly as the other two.
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LAST COMMENT:
The Body tells it like it is: "Win if you can, lose if you must, but always cheat Mean Gene." Wrestling is more honest than politics he correctly points out. Unless God Almighty Himself comes down from the mountaintops, consults with The Body, like He did with GW on his decision to invade Iraq, Ventura will not run for Senate. Jesse has until 5:00 to file. Tune in tomorrow to see if God taps The Body. Mick Foley For Veep