Results for ‘Kathleen Sebelius’:

4 TOTAL POSTS

August 20th at 10:11AM

Joe Biden is "Not the Guy," and Barack Obama Gets His Gals Confused

POSTED BY: Mary Phillips-Sandy


We're running out of time to spread rumors about Barack Obama's veep pick, so let's smear these latest clues across the internet as quickly as possible.

Obama's making an appearance with his running mate in Springfield, Illinois on Saturday. That much we know. So, um, Joe Biden, where are you going to be on Saturday?

Biden replied, "Here" and pointed down to his driveway [which is located in Delaware].

As he pulled out of the driveway in the driver's seat of his car he then said to the press gathered near his gate, "You guys have better things to do. I'm not the guy."

That certainly sounds like an upfront admission of Biden's non-veepiness, but a) he could be lying, or b) Obama's Springfield advance teams are a cover-up for a major event taking place in Joe Biden's driveway. Assuming c), he's telling the truth... oh my god! Is Obama going to pick Hillary after all? Or another high-ranking woman, like Gov. Kathleen Sebelius of Kansas?

No, because Barack Obama's disdain for women prevents him from keeping his New England colleges straight...

[Obama] used the word "he" to describe his choice rather than the phrase "he or she," which would appear to exclude potential female running mates such as Sen. Hillary Clinton of New York and Kansas Gov. Kathleen Sebelius.

A senior Obama strategist, Robert Gibbs, said that reporters shouldn't "read anything into" Obama use of the masculine pronoun.

An earlier comment from Obama, though, also made it seem unlikely that he'd pick Clinton. He told a woman in the town hall audience that he gets Wellesley College, a women's college outside Boston where Clinton was the student commencement speaker in 1969, confused with co-ed Wesleyan University in Connecticut.

Good goddess! Why does Obama have such scorn for poor Hillary Clinton that he can't remember where she gave her commencement speech?

For that matter, why can't he remember the commencement speech he gave at Wesleyan three months ago?

All these hints add up to one logical answer: Evan Bayh really will be Obama's running mate.

Or, you know, not.

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LAST COMMENT:

It's Obama's love for women that prevents him from picking Hillary. Same with Bill Clinton. If Hillary couldn't satisfy her husband, how could anyone think she could be satisfactory for our country. She is scum. McCain is the only choice for our country to get RIGHT again.

by Freddy Hubbard August 20th at 7:27PM
4 Comments
August 15th at 11:47AM

Obama Veepstakes: Official Vegas Betting Odds

POSTED BY: Dylan and Ethan Ris

Two weeks ago, we gave you our Official Vegas Odds on potential running mates for John McCain, and darn if that didn't send shock waves through his campaign! It is now our pleasure to extend the same service to Barack Obama gamblers:

Name Why (S)he'll Get It Why (S)he Won't Odds
Sen. Evan Bayh of Indiana

 Pushed by concerned Indiana officials who are trying to bump Dan Quayle from the top of their "Famous Residents" list. In the wake of the John Edwards scandal, it's getting increasingly difficult to trust any handsome, well-coiffed Democrat. 3 to 1
Sen. Joe Biden of Delaware

 Nominating Biden will possibly placate the zero delegates he'll be sending to the convention. Debatable whether the way to win over voters is to bore them to death. π to 1.
Gov. Tim Kaine of Virginia

 Kaine could deliver a state that hasn't swung Democratic since Strom Thurmond was a member of the party. Mark Warner will give the convention's keynote address, thus exhausting the party's quota for Harvard-trained, beauty-deprived Virginia governors who are actually from the Midwest. 7.5 to 3
Gov. Kathleen Sebelius of Kansas

 Nominating her is a way to get a woman on the ticket without resorting to You Know Who. Okay, we saw that voters may be ready to elect a female president, but vice president?  Slow down, ladies! 409 to 1
Former Sen. Sam Nunn of Georgia

 This elder statesman's military background appeals to hawks who thought Wesley Clark was too much of a sissy to get the nod. Unclear if he is still alive. 1812 to 1
Vice President Dick Cheney

 Cheney has extensive experience serving as [classified], and he will [classified] in the event of [classified]. There's no chance he's leaving office, so this category is moot. 666 to 1
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