Results for ‘National Enquirer’:

4 TOTAL POSTS

November 12th at 5:02PM

Cindy McCain Having Affair, Reports Sleazy Tabloid (via Even Sleazier Political Website)

POSTED BY: Dennis DiClaudio

As though life wasn't hard enough for John McCain these days -- what with having to read about his former political rival sitting down with the world's foremost economic experts, while he eats cupcakes with talking heads from I Love the 80s -- now he has to deal with this piece of trash recently purported by the trashy, but uncomfortably reliable (as of late), National Enquirer...

The ENQUIRER's exclusive bombshell expose as Sen. John McCain's wife, Cindy, is caught with another man! Not only that but multiple witnesses have caught the pair lip locking on several other occasions.

"I couldn't believe I was watching Cindy McCain passionately kissing and hugging another man!" That's the stunned reaction of an eyewitness who says he watched in shock -- and snapped photos -- as the former presidential candidate's wife romantically kissed a long-haired man who resembles "a washed-up '80s rock musician."

I took a long look at the photo provided, and I have to say that it definitely resembles a woman of some sort who has hair on top of her head kissing something that looks like a man. (It's either that or some sort of sea creature briefly rising above the surface of a dark lake.)

I double-checked the facts: Cindy McCain is a woman, and she does have hair. Whether or not she knows how to kiss is still open to debate.

Ladies and gentlemen, I think that the National Enquirer has rested its case.

[Bloglines] [del.icio.us] [Digg] [Facebook] [Fark] [Google] [MySpace] [Reddit] [StumbleUpon] [Technorati] [Yahoo!] More »
TAGS: , ,

LAST COMMENT:

she may read this story and start popping pills again. IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT NATIONAL ENQUIRER?

by ethan smith November 13th at 2:16AM
6 Comments
September 10th at 2:55PM

Breaking News: Sarah Palin's Teens Behave Like Teenagers!

POSTED BY: Gonzalo Cordova


Is it kind of sad when the National Enquirer becomes a source for breaking political news? Apparently, they have another trashy, trashy bombshell.

Sarah Palin's beautiful family is as flawed and shitty as every other American family.

...Sarah's oldest son, Track, was addicted to the power drug OxyContin for nearly the past two years, snorting it, eating it, smoking it and even injecting it...

He snorted it! He ate it! He even injected it! If Track were the guy in "Green Eggs and Ham" and instead of "Green Eggs and Ham" it would have been called "Green Eggs and OxyContin" and he would have said yes on every page.

But at least mom to be, Bristol Palin, can still be compared to the Virgin Mary (except for the virgin part)...

Another family friend revealed pre-prego Bristol was as much of a hard partier as Track was.

"Bristol was a huge stoner and drinker. I've seen her smoke pot and get drunk and make out with so many guys. All the guys would brag that the just made out with Bristol."

Teens will be teens. I mean, wait until Obama's girls hit that crazy age range. At least we can rest assured that Sarah Palin is a supportive and loving mother.

When Sarah found out the teen was pregnant by high schooler Levi Johnston, she was actually banished [her daughter] from the house. As part of the cover-up, Palin quickly transferred Bristol to another high school and made her move in with Sarah's sister Heather 25 miles away!

Seriously, we should take this with a grain of salt. This story is pretty trashy and maybe not indicative of Palin's political life. But the RNC made a big push to present the Palin clan as an ideal American family. If this is true, they are half right. Palin's family acts like a lot of other American families.

Additionally, it might not be true, but it's not like The National Enquirer hasn't been right before.