Results for ‘New Yorker’:

8 TOTAL POSTS

October 6th at 2:11PM

Bailout! The Musical

POSTED BY: Dennis DiClaudio

Having as hard a time as everyone else in the world at figuring out what the hell is going on with our economic crisis so that you can figure out who to blame?

New Yorker editor Ben Greenman's piece of economic musical theater (that might be the first time those three words were ever used together) might help you out. And give you something to sing while you're nailing boards up on your shanty's windows...

HENRY PAULSON:
Come now, travel with me
Back to 2001
Remember the big boom?
That was an awful lot of fun
Alan Greenspan warned
About the bursting bubble
He lowered all the interest rates
To try to forestall trouble
That led in turn to a big run
On purchases of real estate
Offset falling stock prices
With property? It all seemed great
But then the subprime borrowers
Started to default
And our proud economy
Began to grind to a halt

The DOLLAR BILL snores.

CREDIT CARD:
What the hell?
The dollar's snoring

DOLLAR:
Sorry, guys
This movie's boring

Read the whole thing.

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LAST COMMENT:

What happens if the DOW goes down to zero? Will the anarchists finally get their own party they can't organize?

by Cube October 6th at 3:31PM
2 Comments
September 16th at 3:26PM

Do Pit Bulls Smear Their Lipstick When They Kill Pigs?

POSTED BY: Dennis DiClaudio

George Saunders -- who would be my literary boyfriend if I were a gay lipstick-wearing pit bull -- breaks down the significance of Sarah Palin's defining moment as a politician...

...when Barack Obama says he will put some lipstick on my pig, I am, like, Are you calling me a pig? If so, thanks! Pigs are the most non-Elite of all barnyard animals. And also, if you put lipstick on my pig, do you know what the difference will be between that pig and a pit bull? I'll tell you: a pit bull can easily kill a pig.

And, as the pig dies, guess what the Hockey Mom is doing? Going to her car, putting on more lipstick, so that, upon returning, finding that pig dead, she once again looks identical to that pit bull, which, staying on mission, the two of them step over the dead pig, looking exactly like twins, except the pit bull is scratching his lower ass with one frantic leg, whereas the Hockey Mom is carrying an extra hockey stick in case Todd breaks his again. But both are going, like, Ha ha, where's that dumb pig now? Dead, that's who, and also: not a smidge of lipstick.

A lose-lose for the pig.

There's a lesson in that, I think.

I was wondering what that joke meant exactly.

Now I totally get it.

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LAST COMMENT:

And how about the wolves? Yes, the wolves. http://mypresidentpalin.com/2008/09/30/wolves/

by Layrious October 4th at 10:43PM
9 Comments
July 23rd at 4:15PM

Vanity Fair Satires the New Yorker's Satire

POSTED BY: CubbyChaser

Vanity Fair, unwilling to let a bad joke die, recently unleashed a brand new cover -- that they courageously have no intention of using as an actual cover -- upon the world the satire-deaf world.

And it looks mighty familiar...

No, I don't mean the New Yorker's brilliantly unfunny misguided attempt at satire of a cover.

I'm talking about this equally unfunny David Horsey political cartoon.

I guess dull minds think alike.