Results for ‘Orrin Hatch’:

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July 29th at 2:27PM

What's on Orrin Hatch's Head?

POSTED BY: TheInDecider

Join former United States Senate Pages Dylan and Ethan Ris as they bring you the dish on not just the presidential race but all the exciting triumphs and disgraces inside, outside, and below the Beltway!

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Spotted! An exciting Washington celebrity was recently caught on film by Congressional Confidential's roving team of ex-Senate Pages with camera phones!

Who: Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-UT).

Where: Boston's Logan International Airport.

Doing What: Reading a book (presumably his autographed copy of The Audacity of Hope).

Beyond the most obvious question -- "Wait, Orrin Hatch is still alive?" -- you're probably wondering about the Senator's unusual fashion accessory: The giant red splotch on the side of his head!

Now we could tell you the origin of the splotch, but to be perfectly honest, it's pretty boring. That's why we want you to decide what suddenly made the Senator's cranium redder than the 1984 electoral vote map.

Is he returning home from a Mikhail Gorbachev look-a-like contest (which he lost to Larry Craig)? Is he trying to introduce bindis to the Mormon faith? Did he step on a rake deftly planted by Senate prankster Russ Feingold (D-WI)? Or is it none of the above? Submit your own explanation!

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LAST COMMENT:

Which one of his wives is sititng next to him in that photo?

by Todd August 1st at 12:52AM
3 Comments
April 24th at 12:07PM

Orrin Hatch: There Ain't No Stopping John McCain, Now Throw it to the Solo!

POSTED BY: CubbyChaser

With Bruce Springsteen coming out in support of Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton maintaining her stable of middle-aged divas, it seemed like John McCain was going to have to make like his Republican forbearers and piss off John Mellencamp in order to rustle up a campaign song. That is, until Senator Orrin Hatch came to town.

The Salt Lake Tribune reports that the distinguished senator -- who, amazingly, is a platinum and gold-certified songwriter for this Lindsay-fied Christian pop ballad he co-wrote for Jaci Velasquez -- has written what he hopes will be McCain's official campaign song.

A few lyrical excerpts:

Together forever
America is the country we all love
We believe our destiny
Comes from god above
Let's link our hands for all to see
Our country's majesty

Alright. Vintage Hatch so far...

Hey John
Say John
They're gonna hit you hard with ev'ry thing they've got

Hey John
Come on
They'll be calling you
Everything you're not!

Strange as this may sound, I can confirm it. In fact, I was reporting from DNC headquarters when Howard Dean's staff began compiling the 88 quadrillion-item list of everything John McCain is not. Look for Barack Obama's first general election ad to slander McCain as "an existentialist," "[The Bob Newhart Show's] Marcia Wallace" and "a hippogriff."

As Indecision's recently self-appointed temporary music critic, I should probably come up with a few ways to describe the song as everything it's not. "Not trite" comes to mind. Also, "not weird." But, hey, who am I to knock it around when the review so far has been 100% positive:

Hatch says the song should get good reviews.
"It has been very enjoyable to write this song, and I think most people will like it."

This makes perfect sense coming from Hatch. As a sitting senator, most of the people he knows suck.

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