Here's a fragment from Fragments From Edwards! The Musical, by Ben Greenman on McSweeney's...

RIELLE HUNTER
Hi, I'm Lisa.
I mean Rielle.
Will you take me
To a hotel?

JOHN EDWARDS
Well, I never.
I'm shocked and dismayed.
My wife and children
Would feel betrayed.
Plus, there's a special circumstance:
My wife has cancer. It's advanced.

(JOHN EDWARDS's phone rings.)

JOHN EDWARDS
What? That's great.
The hand of fate
Has relaxed its stranglehold.
God's mercy should be extolled.

(JOHN EDWARDS hangs up his phone.)

JOHN EDWARDS
Oh, wait, now she's in remission.
I guess that means I have permission.

Unfortunately, this show is only playing in the other America.

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From Salon's Scott Bateman, here's an animated version of an on-air debate/throwdown between Sean Hannity and Alan Colmes concerning John Edwards and John McCain's wayward penises from earlier this week.

And holy shit does Alan Colmes deliver the smackdown!

Here's my personal favorite part, from the very end...

Hannity: Let's see how you act after getting beaten after five and a half years!

I think we just did.

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John Edwards speaks...

"It is inadequate to say to the people who believed in me that I am sorry, as it is inadequate to say to the people who love me that I am sorry. In the course of several campaigns, I started to believe that I was special and became increasingly egocentric and narcissistic."

Well, luckily the American voters were there to relieve him of that delusion.

"If you want to beat me up -- feel free."

I'm sure that many people will take him up on this offer.

"You cannot beat me up more than I have already beaten up myself."

Has this guy just now started paying attention to the American media?

(see previous post)

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