Results for ‘South Dakota’:

7 TOTAL POSTS

August 21st at 11:06AM

Democrats Preparing to Flaunt the Agony of Defeat

POSTED BY: Ethan Ris

Roll Call recently broke the exciting news that three new speakers have been added to the lineup for the Democratic National Convention in Denver next week... and they are all phenomenal losers!

Jimmy Carter, John Kerry, and Tom Daschle have all been awarded prime-time speaking slots during the convention, despite the stench of defeat that surrounds them.

Here's a little bit about each one, and how each has contributed to the familiar heartbreak of millions of Democratics over the years...

Loser How He Lost
Former President Jimmy Carter
Loser of the 1980 presidential election.		 Was no match for Ronald Reagan's stunning intellect and feats of strength.
Former Senator Tom Daschle
Loser of the 2004 South Dakota Senate race.		 Despite his prominent role as Senate Minority Leader, failed to bring a Major League Baseball franchise to Sioux Falls.
Senator John Kerry
Loser of the 2004 Presidential Race		 His decision to pick John Edwards as his running mate disgusted values voters who had a feeling that something bad was going to be revealed roughly four years down the road.
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LAST COMMENT:

carter lost because he failed miserably to take down communism, feminism and failure of big government. he let a handful of unpatriotic arabs take us for a ride with a fake oil shortage and we're paying the price today. thank your creator for ronald reagan. if it wasn't for him everything on here would be printed in russian.

by xfctr August 21st at 2:24PM
2 Comments
August 7th at 2:17PM

John McCain and the Miss Buffalo Chip Beauty Pageant

POSTED BY: CubbyChaser

Earlier this week, we reported that John McCain -- in an obvious attempt to woo Fundementalist Christian voters -- was speaking at a "whiskey tango" event in South Dakota and sharing a bill with Kid Rock, some friendly neighborhood bikers and a whole bunch of strippers.

Salon was kind enough to supply some actual footage from the event...

Hold on. I'm not certain that was in fact "actual footage." Cindy McCain was looking awfully lifelike.

I think this might have been digitally enhanced.

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LAST COMMENT:

Just one problem with your piece. There's no nudity in the Miss Buffalo Chip Pageant. Topless, bottomless or otherwise. ESPN's Caple has never been to the Buffalo Chip. Your story is a lie. Perhaps you might call the folks at the Buffalo Chip if you wanted the truth. But that isn't nearly as funny, is it? I hope the Chip sues you all.

by michael August 15th at 12:05AM
1 Comment
August 4th at 10:44AM

John McCain's Operation Whiskey Tango

POSTED BY: CubbyChaser

In an obvious attempt to distinguish himself from Barack Obama -- whom he has previously likened to Paris Hilton and Britney Spears in celebrity and vapidity -- John McCain has chosen to take the social high road by sharing the bill at a Sturgis, South Dakota event with a bunch of strippers, drunken bikers and (most prestigiously of all!) "popular" "musician" Kid Rock...

As the presumptive nominee takes the stage, the "Ringin' Wet & Wild" women's wrestling event will be taking place on the main amphitheater. Two hours before then, the "Miss Buffalo Chip Beauty Pageant -- Bikinis on the Beach" will be staged at a different venue. That affair is described by ESPN's Jim Caple as "essentially a topless beauty pageant. And occasionally bottomless, too."... Following McCain's speech, country stars Kellie Pickler