Results for ‘Tom Vilsack’:

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December 17th at 5:20PM

Join Our Traditional Celebration of New Agriculture Secretary Tom Vilsack!

POSTED BY: Mary Phillips-Sandy

In the rural hamlet where I was raised, locals always marked the appointment of a new Agriculture Secretary by gathering in the town square to recite facts about the new Agriculture Secretary while gazing at pictures of puppies. Then we ate pie and drowned the witches.

So it is my pleasure to begin this celebration of Tom Vilsack, Barack Obama's choice for Agriculture Secretary.


* Tom Vilsack was the governor of Iowa, a corn-oriented state. He sure knows his corn. Corn and Tom Vilsack go way back, on the cob, off the cob, whatever.


* "Mr. Vilsack, a native of Pittsburgh, moved to Iowa to live in the hometown of his college-sweetheart-turned-wife, Christie Vilsack." (Aww.)


* "His career in politics was unexpectedly born in 1986 when a disgruntled resident of Mount Pleasant barged into a City Council meeting and killed the mayor. Mr. Vilsack stepped in to serve as mayor." (?!)


* According to some people, Tom Vilsack is a shill for Monsanto and an overall terrible person.

This concludes our traditional celebration of new Agriculture Secretary Tom Vilsack. See you over at the dunking pool!

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LAST COMMENT:

I dream of the day when Iowa is known less for it's fondness of corn, and more for being the forth state to legalize same-sex marriage. *fingers crossed*

by thecheeseclub_vp December 17th at 6:00PM
2 Comments
November 24th at 10:41AM

Safely Elected, Barack Obama Can Start Skipping Church Again

POSTED BY: Dylan Ris

Presidential elections in our country tend to put greater emphasis on church attendance than, say, international nuclear proliferation. And this year was no exception, with pastors like Jeremiah Wright and John Hagee getting far more press exposure than actual presidential candidates like Tom Vilsack and Jim Gilmore.

No one knew this better than Barack Obama, whose campaign nearly collapsed under the weight of Wright's controversial sermons and God-awful JFK impersonation. The Illinois Senator felt forced to drop out of Wright's church and bounce between a number of other ones between late April and Election Day.

But now that he won, he can finally drop that whole act...

President-elect Barack Obama has yet to attend church services since winning the White House earlier this month, a departure from the example of his two immediate predecessors.

On the three Sundays since his election, Obama has instead used his free time to get in workouts at a Chicago gym.

Indeed, there are few place you're more likely to find Obama than not in church. Recall, if you will, the controversy surrounding Wright's "God damn America" sermon. Obama claims to have never heard Wright utter those words. Why?

Because he didn't attend church that day.

And where was Obama when Hagee declared that Hitler was sent by God to herd the Jews to Israel? Hypocritically playing basketball perhaps.

Come to think of it, Obama has also been neglecting his obligations to secretly attend a mosque and secretly pray toward Mecca five times per day ever since the day he was born!

What a disappointment.  Doesn't Obama realize that religious zealots make by far the most entertaining presidents?  The man hasn't even taken office, and already he's making Dick Cheney look like Jimmy Swaggart at a pentacostal tent revival.

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