Results for ‘Vladimir Putin’:

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November 21st at 6:19PM

Arnold Schwarzenegger Hopes to Add Some Lead Weight to Obama's Cabinet

POSTED BY: Dylan Ris

Barack Obama is off to a pretty sissy start in his cabinet selections. If he isn't appointing girlie men to important positions, he's appointing actual girls. You think a ripped foreign strongman like Vladimir Putin is going to respect that?

If only there were a way to add a little heft to this cabinet. Nothing too drastic, just some awesome pecs, rock-solid abs and maybe a co-starring role with Sinbad, if that isn't too much to ask.

Could anyone possibly fit that description?

Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger spoke to President-elect Barack Obama this week and would be willing to work for the Democratic administration once his term expires if asked, the Republican governor said in an interview broadcast this morning...

The governor has deflected rumors that he would leave his job before his term ends in two years to work for Obama, although he has left a bit of wiggle room in recent interviews. He told Fox, "I want to finish my term as governor because there's a lot of different challenges ahead." But he did not flatly reject an early departure.

It isn't immediately clear what position might suit Schwarzenegger, but the possibilities are vast, including...

* EPA Administrator (Hummer Division).

* Ambassador to the Kennedys.

* Conan the Secretary of Agriculture.

* Kindergarten Attorney General.

Of course, if the Governator were to really join the cabinet, he'd have to submit to Obama's now infamous vetting process.

So hopefully, out of the reported 63 questions, none of them reads: "Have you ever abused steroids, denied that marijuana is a drug, participated in orgies, or groped your female aides, forcing you to apologize via mass media?"

Because if that's on there, he might not get the gig.

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Perhaps Obama will name Arnie his Sec. of Defense, who will then appoint Tom Arnold as his assistant. Then the two of them will hop into Harrier jets and take of care of Afghanistan in one day!

by daringtexan November 22nd at 6:27PM
2 Comments
August 12th at 11:23AM

George Bush Saves the World (Again)

POSTED BY: Ethan Ris

You have to hand it to George W. Bush. The man knows how to take a tough stance.

As it became clear that Russia's military attack on Georgia was only going to intensify, he knew he had to take action and protect our out-gunned ally. So he did literally everything in his power to help out the pro-Western democracy that is one of our few remaining friends in the world.

That's right: he pulled aside Vladimir Putin during brunch...

President George Bush and Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin discussed the conflict in Georgia, the White House confirmed.

Both men were attending the opening of the Summer Olympics in the Chinese capital and spoke during a luncheon hosted by Chinese President Hu Jintao. White House spokesman Tony Fratto did not provide any additional details.

Unfortunately, by the time the two men were finished talking, someone else had already eaten all of President Hu's spectacular deviled eggs.

Bush's great efforts seem to have been well worth it, as Russia appears to have halted military actions. And it's all thanks to George Bush's selflessness and lunchtime diplomacy.